Many people fear failure because they want to be successful.
They forget that failure is simply a stepping stone toward success—a learning experience that helps us discover a better way to do things. When we focus too much on why we don’t want to fail, we forget to step out and try things that might work. Here are some ways this fear is holding you back from living the kind of life you deserve (and yes, are totally capable of).
1. You’re focusing too much on being perfect.
You may never get anything done when you’re focused on perfecting everything. If you don’t have faith that you can successfully do whatever you’re planning, you may never even start it. For many, realizing perfection is an illusion is a great motivator to try new things.
2. You’re procrastinating.
Even if you’re not worried about being perfect, you could still be procrastinating on starting because you’re concerned about failure. Anxiety often leads to procrastination, and your anxiety about being successful and possibly failing can be a catalyst that holds you back from doing many things. You can’t know for sure if you’ll fail if you don’t at least try.
3. You’re analyzing and overthinking.
Spending too much time writing down all the pros and cons of an idea will keep you from launching. As Verywell Mind explains, if you’re overthinking things, you’re using energy you could have used to get started, and you’re probably talking yourself out of trying. Set a time limit for analyzing and then get to it when the pros outweigh the cons.
4. You’re worrying about being judged.
If you think that people will look down on you if you fail, it could be holding you back from getting started. Someone who judges you for making an effort and failing is someone you may not want in your life anyway. Look for people who support you in everything you do, whether you fail or succeed.
5. You’re comparing yourself to others too much.
Another thing that has to do with other people that holds us back is the need to compare. Perhaps you think you won’t be as good as someone you know who did the same thing. They were successful, but you feel inferior. Or, maybe they failed, and you think you will, too. Just because someone else fails at something similar doesn’t mean you will — we’re all different in many things in life.
6. You’re feeding into self-esteem issues.
Many battle imposter syndrome and think they’re not good enough or ready. However, when we feed into these self-esteem monsters, we let them hold us back from trying for success. If you don’t feel ready, come up with a list of things to help you feel ready.
7. You’re staying in your comfort zone.
When we find comfort in certain areas of our lives, it can be difficult for many reasons to step out of that comfort zone. Doing something you’re afraid of daily is one great way to build up your courage. If you don’t find a way out of that comfy space, you’ll never try anything new.
8. You’re listening to the negative voices in your head.
Everyone has that negative self-talk that pops up from time to time. Sometimes, the voice is our own, reminding us of past failures and mistakes. Other times, the voice comes from people who don’t believe in us or want us to fail. Learn to ignore those voices or to turn their negative words into positive affirmations. If you think you’ll fail because you failed in the past, think of it as your past failure pushing you to do something different in the future that may be more successful.
9. You’re dwelling in the past.
Speaking of past failures, it can be challenging to try new things if you’re stuck on those past failures and losses. Just because something didn’t work out before doesn’t mean there’s no hope left that it could be fruitful in the future. Focusing on the present and the future will offer more motivation.
10. You set goals you can’t accomplish.
Setting too many or lofty goals can lead to failure and make it difficult even to try something. If your list of goals is so long that it intimidates you, take some time to separate those goals into ones for different days, weeks, or even months. If you know that too many goals will hold you back, start with a tiny goal at a time and add another once you’ve accomplished the first.
11. You’re not at all motivated.
It’s hard to start anything if you aren’t motivated to do it. When you’re afraid of failing at something, inspiration to get started can be impossible. Find things that help you feel more motivated, even in the face of fear, to move past what’s holding you back. This could be making those short goals, looking at other people’s success stories, or finding a motivational guided meditation to do each day.
12. You avoid your other responsibilities.
When you’re afraid of failing and spend too much time worrying about something, you may not feel like doing your usual everyday things—like washing the dishes, cleaning the house, or playing with your kids. Responsibilities are hard enough to take care of some days, even without adding in the fear of failure.
13. You give up too quickly.
When you feel like you’re going to be unsuccessful at something, you may give up before or after you start if things seem too difficult. Why try if you know you’re going to fail? Because you don’t know for sure, quitting too soon is the same as failing.
14. You struggle to make decisions.
If you can’t decide how to get started with whatever you’re worried about failing at, that will also hold you back. You want to be successful, but you spend all your time deciding which direction to take. Not deciding promptly may just keep you from finding success, Psychology Today warns.
15. You feel like you can’t do it on your own.
When you’re venturing into something new alone, it can be scary and daunting. You may hold back because you’re afraid you can’t do it all alone. However, once again, how will you know if you don’t try?
