Being a realist is important, but chronic pessimism? It’s exhausting – for you and everyone around you. Seeing the negative in everything drains your energy and makes it harder to enjoy the good stuff. The good news is that it is possible to retrain your brain. Here’s how to do it.
1. Notice when you’re fortune-telling.
This is when you jump to the worst conclusion: “I’ll mess up the interview” or “This party will be awful.” Challenge that voice! Ask yourself: “Do I have a crystal ball? Is this truly guaranteed, or just one possible outcome?” Just noticing when you do this starts to weaken its power over you.
2. Try the “Opposite Action.”
When you feel like complaining, force yourself to say something positive instead, Mayo Clinic suggests. Traffic sucks? Appreciate the extra time for podcasts. Bad weather? Perfect day to curl up with a book! It feels fake at first, but this retrains your brain to look for upsides, not just obstacles.
3. Reframe negative thoughts with “but also… “
Pessimistic thought: “I totally bombed that presentation.” Reframe: “I bombed that presentation, BUT ALSO I learned what NOT to do next time, and everyone survives a bad day at work sometimes.” This acknowledges the bad without letting it completely crush you.
4. Keep a “What went well?” journal.
Each day, write down even tiny good things. You had a delicious coffee, made your bed, a stranger smiled at you… all of it counts. This forces you to notice positives your pessimistic brain usually filters out. Reviewing this journal on rough days is a major mood booster!
5. Make a “Brag List.”
This sounds cheesy, but it’s actually powerful! List accomplishments, big and small: you graduated college, parallel park like a pro, or give amazing compliments. Include all the things you’re proud of, and refer to this when you’re feeling down on yourself. This reminds you that you’re capable, even when pessimism tries to make you forget.
6. Surround yourself with selectively positive people.
We become like the company we keep! Do your friends also see the world as a disaster? Seek out people with upbeat, solution-oriented attitudes. This doesn’t mean ignoring problems, but approaching them with “We can fix this!” energy instead of helpless defeat.
7. Do something that puts you in a flow state.
This is an activity so absorbing, you lose track of time and negativity — painting, sports, building stuff, whatever lights you up. Being fully present silences the anxious voice in your head, giving you a break from overthinking and building a sense of mastery.
8. Practice mindfulness — even 5 minutes a day helps.
This is about noticing your thoughts without judgment. Apps like Headspace or Calm are great! It’s like stepping back from that negative voice, so you realize: “I’m having a pessimistic thought, but that’s not necessarily the truth.” This gives you power to choose a different perspective.
9. Cut down on mindless scrolling.
Doomscrolling news or comparing yourself to perfect-looking lives on social media is a recipe for feeling like crap. Set time limits on these apps, or better yet, replace that time with something that builds you up: listening to an inspiring podcast, learning a new skill, or anything that makes you feel good and accomplished.
10. Fake it ’til you almost make it.
On days when optimism feels impossible, focus on acting the way an optimistic person would. Stand tall, make eye contact, offer help to someone else. It sounds backwards, but the mind often follows the body’s lead. Faking confidence can jumpstart the real thing!
11. Learn to separate facts from fear-based stories.
Your brain loves a dramatic narrative, but is it real? “My boss didn’t reply, she must hate my work” is a story. Fact: email exists. Before spiraling, ask: “What’s the simplest explanation?” This often cuts off a negativity loop before it starts.
12. Give yourself a worry time limit.
You can’t shut off all negativity at once, so set aside 15 minutes a day as designated worry time. Outside those 15 minutes, tell the anxious voice, “Not right now, I’ll think about you later.” This contains the pessimism instead of letting it take over your whole day.
13. Celebrate your effort, not just the outcome.
Pessimists focus on the goal they didn’t reach. Optimists also value the struggle it took to get there. Shift your thinking! Getting a “B” on a test after studying hard is more worthy of praise than acing something you barely prepared for. This makes setbacks feel less devastating.
14. Do nice things for future you.
Pre-pack a healthy lunch, lay out comfy clothes for tomorrow, anything that makes the future look a bit easier. This is an act of self-love! It sends the message: I deserve to have good days, and I’m helping myself achieve that. It’s simple, but potent for changing your underlying mindset.
15. When in doubt, focus on action you can take.
Pessimism often leads to paralysis: “What’s the point, it won’t work anyway.” Instead of overthinking, do the smallest possible next step. Worried about finances? Don’t try to fix it all at once, just review your bank statement. Action breaks the helplessness cycle, leading to even more action, chipping away at the problem.
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