Whether you’ve been dating for two years or a decade, it’s easy to feel pressure to get married. Maybe you and your partner are perfectly happy with the way things are, but friends and family might make you feel like something is wrong and that your decision doesn’t make sense. If you don’t want to tie the knot, here are some ways you and your partner can remain committed and deeply in love.
1. Ask each other random questions.
Even if your first date was a little tense, you likely asked each other a lot of questions to see if you were a good fit. When you’re in a committed relationship, those questions don’t need to stop. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily hustle. But if you and your partner can ask each other meaningful questions like your favorite elementary school teacher or silly ones like your favorite Pop-Tart flavor, you’ll feel closer to each other. This proves you’re still interested in each other, no matter how long you’ve been together.
2. Redecorate your place (or move to a new one).
Whether you moved into your partner’s rented condo or bought a house together, it’s possible one of you did the heavy lifting when it comes to decorating. It would not only be fun to refresh your home, but it’s a project you can do together. You can get some inexpensive artwork or switch up where your furniture is. You’ll both love coming home since it’ll reflect both of your interests and personalities.
3. Get to know one another’s families.
When couples get married, they usually spend a lot of time with each other’s relatives, which can be great or terrible depending on whether the families experience conflict. If you and your partner want to know you’re in each other’s lives for good but you’re not going to get engaged and walk down the aisle, it’s smart to try to connect with each other’s families. Go out for brunch, call or text them every once in a while, or even go on a trip together. This will prove you’ve fully integrated your lives.
4. Take an interest in each other’s friends.
It would be great if you liked each other’s friend groups. Even if you don’t, it’s still important to care about them. You can feel more committed to your partner if you ask them how their good friends are doing and remember details about them. This shows that you care about each other’s lives and want to know everything you can.
5. Create your own holiday traditions.
Even if you and your partner have strong family traditions at Christmas or another time of year, there’s no reason why you can’t have some fun on your own. If you and your partner bake the same shortbread cookies, have a gift exchange with friends, or watch the same movies, you’ll feel your bond get better with every year that passes.
6. Host gatherings at your place.
If you and your partner host game nights, dinner parties, or invite a few friends over for last-minute pizza and beer, you’ll feel like you’re on the same team. This will go a long way toward securing your bond and remind you that you don’t need to have a ring on your finger in order to live a great life together.
7. Talk about the beginning of your relationship.
It can be easy to focus on the daily grind and forget the sweet moments you two shared at the start of your love story. You can be sure that your relationship is as strong as ever when you take the time to share memories and think about what brought you together. It’s not only fun to take this trip down memory lane, but you’ll also be reminded of how strongly you two care about each other. When you feel nostalgic about the past, you can also make any necessary changes to make sure you’re giving each other what you need now.
8. Come up with inside jokes.
While it can be a little obnoxious when friend groups have inside jokes and never share why something is so funny with other people, it’s adorable and romantic when a couple does it. Maybe you and your partner have a joke from the early days of dating that only you find hilarious, or you laugh at something that happened more recently.
9. Make a big deal of your first date anniversary.
Married couples always recognize the day they made this commitment, so why can’t you celebrate your first date? You can enjoy a meal at the restaurant or go back to the place where you first met. You’ll know you mean a lot to each other and that your relationship matters, even if you’re not tying the knot.
10. Share why you love each other regularly.
Even if your love language isn’t “words of affirmation,” you’ll both benefit from chatting about the reasons why you’re so special to each other. It might feel a bit cheesy to talk about why you love your partner (and vice versa), but it’s a great reminder that you’re together for a reason. Feeling secure in your bond will also help when people pressure you to just get married already.
11. Accomplish a shared goal.
From learning Italian to baking a perfect croissant, there are a lot of things that you and your partner can learn to do together. Coming up with a goal you can reach together will bring you closer, help you feel like you’re on the same page, and also be enjoyable. You might like it so much that you make this a regular part of your relationship.
12. Make a big, meaningful purchase or talk about your finances.
While some couples like having joint accounts, others prefer to keep their money separate. No matter what your beliefs are surrounding this sometimes stressful topic, you and your partner can have some important discussions about money. Maybe you want to save up for a purchase that matters to both of you, or you want to learn about investing so you can set yourselves up for future success.
13. Take turns picking movies/TV shows/activities.
Committing to someone really has nothing to do with a sparkly ring and is more about not wanting to spend the rest of your lives away from each other. If you make some small changes to the way you two spend time together, you’ll feel a tighter bond than before. Since you might not love all of the same things, it’s helpful to take turns choosing what to do on a Tuesday night or weekend. Maybe you love binge-watching thriller series and your partner isn’t the biggest fan, or they love to camp and you’d rather stay home. If you take turns, you’ll both be happy and feel like you’re listening to each other.
14. See a couples’ therapist (or take the time to have emotional conversations.)
Many engaged couples go for couples counseling before the big day, and even though you aren’t getting married, you and your partner can as well. Even if you’re blissfully happy, there are always things you can work on and strategies to communicate better. If you’d rather not talk to someone else (or therapy isn’t the budget right now, which is totally fair), make sure you’re both talking about your feelings on a regular basis.
15. Always have something to look forward to.
Have you always wanted to go to the Amalfi Coast (or something closer and more affordable)? Do you have a list of new restaurants in your city or town that you’ve been waiting to try? You and your partner can prove your commitment to each other by making fun plans and getting excited about the near future. Scheduling big and small plans in your calendar will make you feel you’re in your own little world, which is definitely more important than feeling like you should get married just because everyone around you is.
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