Some people somehow manage to turn every conversation into a monologue about themselves.
It’s like a superpower, but not the kind you want. While talking about yourself is normal, of course, constantly making everything about you can leave people feeling unheard and unimportant. If you want to sniff out these types of people before they get too far, here are some sneaky ways self-centered people hijack conversations. If you notice someone doing these things, call them out!
1. They interrupt and talk over you.
Ever try to share a story, only to be cut off mid-sentence by a self-centered person eager to share their own anecdote? It’s like they’re playing a one-person show, and everyone else is just an audience member.
2. They quickly turn the conversation back to themselves.
You’re sharing a personal experience, and just as you’re getting to the good part, the self-centered person jumps in with, “Oh, that reminds me of this one time I…” and suddenly the conversation is all about them again. It’s a subtle but effective way of stealing the spotlight and making sure the focus stays on them.
3. They offer unsolicited advice or solutions.
You’re venting about a problem, hoping for some empathy and understanding, but instead of listening, the self-centered person jumps in with unsolicited advice or solutions. It’s like they can’t resist the urge to be the expert, even when their expertise isn’t needed or wanted. As Verywell Mind points out, it’s stressful and upsetting to be given advice you don’t want and never asked for.
4. They one-up your stories and experiences.
You’re sharing a story about a recent trip you took, and the self-centered person chimes in with a tale of their own travels, but bigger, better, and more exotic. It’s like a competition they have to win, even if it means diminishing your own experience.
5. They rarely ask questions about you or your interests.
In a conversation with a self-centered person, you might feel like you’re talking to a wall. They rarely ask questions about you, your thoughts, or your interests. They might nod along and offer the occasional “uh-huh,” but their minds are clearly elsewhere, likely formulating their next self-centered anecdote.
6. They change the subject when you talk about something they don’t relate to.
You’re talking about a topic you’re passionate about, but the self-centered person quickly loses interest and steers the conversation back to something they find more engaging – usually themselves. It’s like they have a mental filter that only lets in information that directly relates to them or their interests.
7. They make everything about them, even when it’s not.
Even when the topic of conversation is seemingly unrelated to them, self-centered people somehow manage to find a way to make it about themselves. They might share a personal anecdote that vaguely relates to the topic, or they might simply offer their own opinion on the matter, regardless of whether it’s relevant or helpful.
8. They brush off your accomplishments and achievements.
You share some good news about a recent success, and instead of offering congratulations or genuine enthusiasm, the self-centered person responds with a lukewarm “that’s nice” or a dismissive comment like “I’ve done that before.” They might even try to one-up your achievement with a story of their own, making you feel like your accomplishment is insignificant in comparison.
9. They steer every conversation towards their own problems and dramas.
Need to vent about a tough day? Think again. Self-centered people will somehow manage to make your struggles about their own issues. They might one-up your problems or hijack the conversation with a similar story from their own life, completely derailing your attempt to share and connect.
10. They constantly compare themselves to you.
Whether it’s your job, your relationships, or your possessions, self-centered people can’t help but size you up and compare themselves to you. They might subtly put you down to make themselves feel better, or they might try to one-up you with their own “superior” experiences. It’s a constant game of one-upmanship, and it can leave you feeling drained and insecure.
11. They give backhanded compliments.
Self-centered people are masters of the backhanded compliment. They might say something that seems nice on the surface, but it’s actually a veiled insult or a way to subtly put you down. For example, they might say, “You look great for your age,” or “That’s a nice outfit, but it’s not really your style.” These seemingly innocuous comments can be hurtful and undermine your confidence.
12. They take credit for your ideas or contributions.
Have you ever shared a brilliant idea with a self-centered person, only to have them later claim it as their own? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Self-centered people often lack originality and creativity, so they resort to stealing other people’s ideas and passing them off as their own. It’s a way of boosting their own ego at the expense of yours.
13. They always have to be the center of attention.
Whether it’s telling a loud, obnoxious joke or making a scene in public, self-centered people crave attention. They thrive on being the center of the universe, and they’ll go to great lengths to ensure all eyes are on them. This can be exhausting for those around them, who may feel like they’re constantly competing for attention or being overshadowed.
14. They don’t respect your time or boundaries.
Self-centered people often have a sense of entitlement that leads them to believe their time is more valuable than yours. They might show up late, cancel plans at the last minute, or simply not respect your need for space and alone time. They expect you to be available whenever they need you, but they’re not willing to reciprocate that consideration.
15. They’re always the victim.
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, self-centered people will find a way to play the victim, Psych Central notes. They’ll twist the narrative, blame everyone else, and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. This can be incredibly frustrating and make it difficult to have a healthy, productive relationship with them. They see themselves as constantly being wronged or misunderstood, and they expect everyone else to cater to their needs and feelings.
