There’s just something about you…you just don’t *click* with the rest of your family. You’re different and they’ll often let you know it! You usually are written off as “the black sheep.” It can be discouraging and isolating, for sure. But, being the black sheep of your family comes with some unexpected benefits, too! Here are just a few examples.
1. You don’t have to worry about disappointing anyone.
Let’s be real…it’s likely the bar is on the floor, anyway. There’s nowhere to go but up! If your family doesn’t actually expect you to follow in your dad’s medical footsteps, then they’re likely not going to be too disappointed (or surprised) when you choose a career as an English teacher. The lack of familial obligation opens a lot of doors for you and lifts a weight off your shoulders!
2. You’re free to express yourself however you choose.
Again, you’re pretty free from familial expectations. So you want to dye your hair green? Go for it. You likely won’t get much of a reaction, at this point! Start the pottery career, get that next piercing, just do you. They all expect you to do you, anyway!
3. You’re emotionally independent.
You learned early that basing your life choices on the approval of others was not going to end well for you. It may have been a hard lesson to learn, but you’ve learned that your worth is not found in the opinions of others. You’re a whole, complete person whether your family gets you or not!
4. You have thick skin.
Snide comments and backhanded compliments are like water off a duck’s back. This isn’t something you should have had to learn from your family, after all, they were the people who were supposed to be your ultimate support system. So if this is you, just know you didn’t deserve it. But everything works out for good, and your thick skin will serve you well.
5. You’re very self-aware.
As the black sheep, you’ve likely spent a lot of time analyzing yourself in relation to your family. “Why am I like this and not like them? Why do I do this and not that?” As a result, you’re incredibly aware of your own tendencies, emotions, quirks, etc. Just do your best to keep it morally neutral—allow these to just be facts about yourself, rather than judgments and criticisms!
6. You know how to set boundaries.
You quickly learned that saying “Stop talking about my partner, Aunt Cindy,” wasn’t going to work. So you’ve had to improvise and learn to set different boundaries. And you’ve gotten really good at it. Now, you say, “Aunt Cindy, if you continue to speak about my partner that way, I’m going to leave this conversation and go home.” Aunt Cindy may be mad, but your peace is protected!
7. You’re respectful of people’s differences.
You understand better than most what it’s like to be different. And hopefully, you know that people’s differences are what make them special. You love to learn about all different kinds of people, cultures, etc. You know that it takes all kinds of personalities to make the world go around, and you think that’s great!
8. You support the “underdog.”
How could you not? You know what it feels like to be written off and underestimated…and what it feels like to beat the odds! You’re a strong supporter of those no one else believes in, and this makes you the best kind of person! The “underdogs” of the world need more people like you to support them.
9. You’re not afraid of a challenge.
I mean, that’s basically been your whole life—a challenge to succeed despite familial dissatisfaction. A challenge to not actually, physically scream when yet another family member asks why you don’t have kids yet. After putting in the time with your family, nothing scares you—you feel like you can take on the world!
10. You’re motivated to succeed (despite the expectations).
Sometimes the very best motivation is someone telling you that you can’t do something. Your mom says you won’t amount to much? Oh, guess who’s planning to become a Harvard-educated lawyer, now! Use that momentum. See where it takes you!
11. You think deeply about societal norms.
There are people in this world who never question the status quo, likely because they already fit it. They have no need to question a societal norm because it works for them—so why would they? But that isn’t the case for you. The way you fit (or don’t fit) into your own family has likely caused you to consider societal norms at large, as a construct.
12. You’re very empathetic.
Again, you know what it feels like to be belittled, underestimated, and written off. You know what it’s like to not feel truly seen. As a result, you probably have a greater capacity for empathy than most people. You use your own struggles to support and be a friend to other hurting people. And by showing kindness, by being a light in someone’s darkness, you bring some light into your own life as well.
13. You see generational curses more clearly…
You’re able to see your family’s flaws a little more clearly and objectively. Maybe they don’t notice that they have a pattern of yelling and verbal abuse. You do, though. You’ve had a front-row seat to the generational curses playing out and could likely categorize them alphabetically.
14. …And you break them more easily.
Since you know their effects firsthand, you don’t want that for your future family (if that’s in the cards for you). You decide, “This stops with me.” Being the black sheep isn’t a bad thing at all if it means creating a new, and better, legacy. You’ve got this!
15. You know who you are, and you’re proud of it!
Who cares if you aren’t like the rest of your family? You’re unique, wonderful, and a trailblazer! You’re breaking toxic patterns. You’re finding success despite the odds. Shattering expectations. You’re becoming proud of the incredible person you are, learning that your worth is inherent, not dependent on what anyone thinks of you.
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