Ever get the feeling that something in your relationship is a little bit off? Don’t ignore it—that’s your gut telling you that you need to address something. The longer you try to hide it or run away from it, the worse it will be. If you’re not quite sure what the problem is, ask yourself these 15 questions.
1. Am I happy?
First and foremost, you need to know if you’re still happy in your relationship. You might feel happy with your career, your friendships, and your life in general, but are you still happy when you’re with your partner? Do they bring out the best in you? Or does it feel like they’re bringing down the mood instead? It’s a difficult question to ask yourself, but it’s essential to figuring out if you should still be together.
2. Does the relationship still excite me?
Naturally, once the honeymoon phase is over, the excitement might die down a little bit. That’s to be expected. However, you shouldn’t lose all the oomph in your relationship. You should still feel excited to spend time with them and go out on dates. If the thought of being with them makes you feel bored rather than excited, then you might have outgrown your relationship.
3. Am I still attracted to them?
Attraction is an important part of the relationship. You would have felt it in the beginning, feeling the excitement and anticipation before every kiss and hug. But has it died down recently? Do you find yourself feeling less interested in being intimate with them? These could be signs that you’ve outgrown each other, or it could be a sign that you need to revive the relationship and connect. Either way, it’s time to talk to one another and figure it out.
4. Do I feel safe around them?
It’s so important that your partner makes you feel safe and protected. If you feel like your relationship is a bit off, could this be the reason why? Have they done something to make you feel scared around them? This could be them raising their voice, picking fights on purpose, or intimidating you in any way. Look out for these red flags that are telling you it’s time to leave!
5. Are we honest with each other?
Honesty is one of the most important qualities in a relationship, but how honest are you being with each other? Are there things that you keep from them? If so, consider why you don’t feel like you can be open and honest. Perhaps it seems like they’re hiding things from you, too. This is a sign that there’s a lack of trust, which could signal the end of a relationship.
6. Do they support me?
Your partner should be supportive of you, whether that’s with your career, your hobbies, or anything else that’s going on in your life. However, if they seem like they don’t care or have no interest in your interests, that’s a big red flag. You need to ask them how they feel about you and the relationship. If it’s not for them anymore, then the last thing you want is to be strung along.
7. Are we equals?
Equality is an important aspect of a relationship. If one of you ends up doing everything while the other one sits back and doesn’t contribute, resentment will start to breed. So, ask yourself, does your partner treat you fairly? Do they help out with chores? Do they make payments towards the bills? A relationship shouldn’t feel one-sided, and you definitely shouldn’t be the only one putting in all of the work. If they can’t change, it might be time to walk away.
8. Do we have anything in common?
Couples don’t have to have lots of things in common. That’s why they say opposites attract! But you should at least have some common interests. Maybe at the beginning of your relationship, your interests aligned and you had lots of things to talk about, but now it seems like you hardly do anything together anymore. You might start to feel like you’re living separate lives entirely. This could be a sign you’ve outgrown each other.
9. Do they make me feel good about myself?
Your partner should always make you feel good about yourself. They should make you feel special, loved, appreciated, and beautiful. However, have you noticed recently that they don’t make you feel so great anymore? Have they stopped complimenting you? Have they stopped praising you? It’s time to ask them how they really feel about you.
10. Do I feel lonely when I’m with them?
If you feel more lonely when you’re with your partner than when you’re apart, then you’ve got a big problem. Feeling lonely around your partner often means you’re not in love anymore. It could also mean that you don’t feel like they’re present. Either way, it usually signals the end of a relationship.
11. When did we last say “I love you”?
Even though you don’t have to tell your partner you love them every day, it’s still a nice thing to hear often. If you have to think about when the last “I love you” was said, that’s a problem. If you’re not saying it, you have to consider if you still feel it. If you’re unsure or you have mixed feelings, then you should take that as a no.
12. Can I be myself around them?
If you can’t be your true self around your partner, then when can you be? Your partner should be the person you don’t hold back from. You should feel comfortable saying and doing anything around them. However, if that’s not the case, then you should have to consider whether you should still be together. It’s not fair on you if you’re hiding yourself away.
13. Can I see a future together?
Not all relationships are meant to last forever and that’s okay. But still, if you can’t see a future together while your partner does, then it wouldn’t be fair to give them false hope and sting them along much longer. The kind thing would be to walk away.
14. Do we still talk?
Not including small talk, when was the last time you really talked? When did you last have a conversation that made it feel like you were a couple rather than acquaintances in the street? If you went from having long and meaningful chats to almost nothing, then you’ve probably grown tired of each other. Sadly, it might be time to call it quits.
15. Do I want to be with someone else?
This is possibly one of the most uncomfortable questions to ask yourself, but it’s necessary to figure out where you stand in your relationship. If you’re thinking or even fantasizing about other people, then you’ve probably fallen out of love with your partner. It’s not your fault that you’re feeling this way—people outgrow each other all of the time. However, it’s time to walk away now before you both get hurt even more.
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