There’s a time to apologize, and there’s a time to stand tall and stick to your guns. Given that societal cues tend to change daily, knowing what to stick to and what to lower our pride on can be challenging. However, here are several things you should never apologize for, no matter what.
1. Saying “no”
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel the pressure to say yes, but you want to say no? Perhaps you’ve been at a bar, and someone has offered to buy you a drink. You feel bad about saying no because you feel like you’re being mean, but you want to. You should never think that you have to apologize for saying “no” to someone wanting to buy you a drink—if you’re not feeling it, it’s your prerogative.
2. Self-love
We live in a fast-paced world with immense pressure to succeed. Sometimes, you aren’t living properly if you’re not filling every minute of your day with working towards your goals. However, it’s just as important to take time out for yourself as it is to put your nose to the grindstone, New Scientist explains. You should never apologize for taking time to go for a walk, watch a movie, or take a relaxing bath at the end of a long day.
3. The past
Everyone has regrets about the past, whether big or small. However, everything we’ve gone through makes us who we are today, and unless you’ve wronged someone and owe them an apology, you shouldn’t have to apologize for your past. This is especially true if the past was out of your control. Perhaps you were in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to leave. Never feel like it’s on you to be sorry for what’s already been.
4. Asking questions
We’ve all been in situations, whether at college or in a meeting at work, where we feel like we’re asking too many questions. Or, perhaps, we feel like the questions we ask are stupid. While someone else might think your question is a waste of time, this doesn’t mean you must share your opinion. You can ask as many questions as you like, so you should never apologize for it.
5. Being yourself
With social media, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. Every time you scroll through your feed, you see people who are prettier, more successful, or “happier” than you. However, this doesn’t mean that you should completely change who you are to meet their standards. You should never feel you must apologize for being yourself, even if it goes against the grain.
6. Being successful
When you become successful, there will be at least one envious person, which shows. Perhaps someone at work is jealous of your recent promotion and makes snide comments under their breath about you. This might make you feel guilty. However, you shouldn’t. You should never apologize for the successes that you’ve earned through hard work and dedication.
7. How you feel
Perhaps you’ve been dating someone for a long time, but you know the relationship isn’t going anywhere. You want to start fresh and pursue what you truly need. However, you feel bad doing this to your partner. The truth is, though, that you shouldn’t feel bad for how you feel. You can’t help it if you don’t have feelings for them anymore, and while you might hurt them right now, you’re saving them even more grief in the long run.
8. Following your dreams
Perhaps you’ve dreamed of being a ballet dancer since you were a child, but everyone’s always told you it’s impossible. They’ve said you’re too tall or clumsy with your feet, or it takes too much work. However, you know you can do it and don’t care what other people think. You should never apologize for pursuing your dreams, no matter what people around you say.
9. Your beliefs
Growing up, you were bullied at school for your beliefs. You weren’t afraid to tell other kids in your class about them, and as a result, they would say mean things to you and refuse to let you play with them. Now that you’re an adult, you’ve realized that you don’t have to apologize for your beliefs. Everyone is entitled to believe in what they want.
10. Being disciplined
If you’re at a time in your life where you want to focus on self-improvement, the last thing you need to do is apologize. Maybe you’ve cut back on drinking and are spending more time working out. However, your friends are annoyed because you won’t join them at the bar as much. While you might feel bad about this, you don’t have to apologize for being disciplined to practice self-improvement.
11. Speaking the truth
While it’s difficult sometimes to tell the truth, it’s essential never to feel that you must apologize. Perhaps you’re in a relationship where you feel that you do all the housework. You know it should be more balanced, but you don’t know how to approach your partner because they’ll argue. However, telling the truth in this situation is essential because it’s essential that your needs are met in a relationship, even when it’s hard.
12. Changing your mind
One thing that you should never have to feel you need to apologize for is changing your mind. Maybe your friends have organized a big night out this weekend because it’s been a long time since you were all together. You’re excited about it, but come Friday, you’re exhausted from the week and know you must lie low and recover. You feel bad for changing your mind because your friends will be disappointed. However, you shouldn’t apologize for putting your needs first.
13. Imposing boundaries
Another thing we often struggle with is setting boundaries with those around us. For example, your parents might not have the same concept of personal space as you and turn up uninvited at your house all the time. You want them to stop doing this, but you feel bad. However, you don’t need to apologize for setting up this boundary with your parents and talking about specific times they can visit.
14. Ending an unhealthy relationship
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be difficult to leave, Verywell Mind acknowledges. You have mixed feelings because you still love the person but know they’re not good for you. You also feel bad for hurting them. However, it’s essential in a situation where your mental or even physical health is in danger not to apologize for ending it. If you’re better apart, it’s the right move to make.
15. Not being perfect
Many children grow up with parents who expect them to be perfect. Their high standards are set from the start, and as a result, we grow up striving to attain these impossible standards, feeling bad every time we fall short. If this was your childhood, you might still be caught up in this pattern of behavior with your parents. However, you should never have to apologize for not being perfect. Your parents should accept you for who you are and for all your flaws.
