When in a relationship, you always want to feel like you’re on solid footing. On one end of the spectrum, some insecure partners cause a ton of anxiety and a lot of problems not only in their own lives but in their partner’s life, as well. On the other side, when you’re in a relationship with a secure person, things flow. If you want to be with that type of person, then read on to find out the things secure partners do that insecure ones don’t.
1. They trust what their partner says.
Secure partners trust that their significant other is always telling the truth. When they are having any conversation, they don’t look for the “hidden meanings” or the lies to uncover. Instead, they believe everything their partner tells them, whether it be about how they feel about a situation or where they went with friends. They don’t feel the need to pry further.
2. They let their partner go out with friends.
When you are with a secure partner, they have no reason to give you issues when you go out with friends. They embrace the opportunity to have some time apart. They love that you’re having a good time with your friends and enjoying your life, outside of your relationship. They’re not going to blow up your phone with text messages or question you endlessly.
3. They let their partners use social media however they please.
Some partners are very concerned with social media usage, worrying that there may be people in their partner’s DMs. However, when you have a secure significant other, they trust that you won’t be seeking validation or attention somewhere else. They also fulfill you in ways that you won’t need to seek others out, too.
4. They respect their partner’s privacy.
In any healthy relationship, each partner is entitled to their own privacy. A secure partner understands this entirely and respects that you have your own space and things. They never go through your phone, they never look through your drawers, and they certainly don’t snoop in your bag.
5. They don’t micromanage their partners.
Independence is important in a relationship, despite sharing a life together. When a person feels insecure, they will try to micromanage their partner’s schedules in order to gain control over them. Micromanaging their schedules and making all of their plans for them, in their mind, ensures that their partner won’t meet someone else spontaneously. When a partner is secure, they don’t try to exert too much control over their significant other or the relationship, because they know it’s secure and true.
6. They know their partner won’t leave.
Secure partners don’t worry about the “what if” situations—they are living in the now with you. They appreciate your relationship for what it is and they don’t put extra pressure on it. Some insecure partners may worry that you will find someone else and leave, so they overcompensate—which can end up being really awkward and push you away.
7. They say sorry after a fight.
Every couple fights, no matter how long or short you have been together. An insecure partner may not want to own up to their wrongdoings and apologize, but a secure partner knows that the only way to remain strong is to say sorry. Secure partners aren’t afraid to admit they’ve screwed up—they own up to their mistakes and they even change the things that aren’t working.
8. They make their partner feel safe.
Safety and security are super important in any relationship. A partner wants to know that their significant other won’t go anywhere else, seek out anyone else, or ever put them in a compromising situation. Secure partners acknowledge that some partners come with past traumas from relationships—maybe they had an unhealthy partner who put them in bad positions—and they do everything they can to make them feel secure and loved.
9. They allow their partner the freedom to party and drink.
Insecure partners will count drinks and put a time limit on their partner’s engagements outside, wanting to go home and keep them all to themselves. Secure partners know that everyone is entitled to their freedoms and entitled to have fun. They don’t count drinks, they don’t put a curfew on their partner’s fun, and most of the time, they join in on the party!
10. They are understanding.
Patience and understanding are important for a healthy relationship. Many situations require partners to both listen and share. A secure partner understands their significant other’s needs and also their concerns. They listen and take it all in, thinking it over and truly understanding what needs to be done to make them feel good and happy.
11. They respect their partner’s boundaries.
Boundaries are imperative for everyone, especially in a romantic relationship. While some couples believe that there should be no boundaries with a partner, there are times when they are important and helpful. While insecure partners will argue and try to break them down, secure partners listen, understand them, and, most of all, respect them. They don’t try to push their partner in ways that make them uncomfortable.
12. They are faithful and trusting.
Insecure partners may wander off and flirt with the girl at the bar, or answer that DM on Instagram. They are the ones who get caught up in situationships because they need that validation—throwing away what they have with their partner. Secure partners don’t need that. They feel good knowing they are loved, cherished, and appreciated at home. They don’t go out seeking others. And, they trust that their partner is thinking the same way.
13. They show their partner off.
Secure partners are proud of their significant other. They show them off—whether it’s when they are out with friends or even on social media, posting photos on Instagram and sharing their love. They want the world to know they are taken and spoken for—always.
14. They always communicate.
Communication is one of the most important components of any healthy relationship. If a couple doesn’t communicate, they can’t move forward. Insecure partners may have issues communicating, not wanting to push their partner to leave or dislike parts of them. Secure partners share it all, knowing it’s the only way to keep the relationship moving forward.
15. They are vulnerable.
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Some partners do not want to be vulnerable, in fear of getting hurt. Letting your guard down means that you are allowing someone in. Insecure individuals have a hard time doing this, knowing that this can lead to some letdowns and pain. But, a secure partner knows that even if it could end badly, they would rather be true and honest with their significant other, than lie and hide parts of themselves.
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