Unlike extroverts, who tend to be loud and talkative, introverts prefer to stay quiet and listen. While it can appear that we’re lost in our own thoughts, we’re actually highly perceptive. We like to observe others closely to get a feel for their character. Here are some of the things that we notice about people that others might not pick up on right away.
1. Their authenticity
Authenticity is an important quality in a person — it shows that they are true to themselves and can be trusted. Introverts talk less, but we notice more. We can pick up on the subtle signs that someone isn’t being genuine. For instance, if they seem like they’re showing off, or they start gossiping about other people, that can be a tell-tale sign that they’re not genuine. We tend to avoid these kinds of people.
2. Their introversion or extroversion
Naturally, one of the first things we notice about a person is whether they’re introverted or extroverted. Usually, extroverts won’t pick up on this or care to notice, since they’re usually too deep in conversation. But for an introvert, this is something that we need to know about a person. It helps us to understand them better. A key way to tell if someone is extroverted is that they’re more likely to approach people and be the first one to engage in conversation. They’re often louder and considered the “life of the party,” per Verywell Mind.
3. Their confidence levels
Generally speaking, introverts are lacking in confidence compared to extroverts. That’s not to say that all introverts lack confidence, but it’s true for many of us. So it makes sense that one of the first things we notice is whether someone appears to be confident or not. We pick up on subtle signs just as firm shoulders, chin up and a relaxed posture to tell us more about this person.
4. Their mood
As introverts are highly perceptive, we can usually pick up on someone else’s mood without them telling us. Your eyes, facial expressions and body language can reveal so much about how you’re feeling. If someone is keeping their eyes down or if they only hold a smile for a fraction of a second, we would assume that they’re feeling anxious, upset or scared. Being able to pick up on these subtle signs is important because it makes it easier to know how to approach them and encourage them to open up.
5. Whether they’re selfish or selfless
We can get a feel for people within a few minutes of meeting them. A selfless and kind-hearted person will be inquisitive and ask questions to engage other people and see how they feel. A selfish person will talk only about themselves and barely leave any room for anyone else to jump into the conversation. If it’s the latter, we avoid them at all costs. They won’t have time for introverts.
6. If they ‘get’ us
Not all extroverts understand introverts. They sometimes see introverts as rude or boring, so they’ll dismiss us completely. So, one of the first things we’ll notice when we meet someone is whether they make us feel included. Do they ask us questions? Do they ask us for our thoughts and opinions? Do they smile knowingly at us? These are all signs that they understand our introversion, which could open the door to a great, long-lasting friendship.
7. If they have a mean streak
If you watch closely, you can pick up on signs of a hidden mean streak. We observe whether someone’s mood can change quickly if they don’t get what they want or they don’t agree with what someone has said. These signs can be subtle, such as a quick change in tone of voice or a darkening of their facial expressions. Noticing these signs early on can help us to know who we should avoid.
8. If they are listeners
Introverts pride themselves on being great listeners, which is one of the reasons many people turn to us for support and advice. They know we’ll do our best to be there for them and help in any way we can. So, we’ll look out for this quality in others. We can notice whether someone is a truly good listener or not. Do they pretend to listen but immediately forget? Do they ask you to repeat information that you told them just a few minutes ago? These are signs that they would rather talk and not listen. And if they’re not going to listen, they’re not worth having as a friend.
9. If they are socially anxious
Not all introverts are shy or socially anxious, but many of us are, so we can easily spot when someone else feels uncomfortable in social situations. Stuttering, avoiding eye contact, standing behind someone else and not starting any conversations are tell-tale signs that they’re socially anxious. It helps us to know when someone is socially anxious because we’ll try our best to put them at ease and make them feel more comfortable. After all, many of us know how it feels to not fit in.
10. Their attitude towards others
Many introverts are also highly sensitive people, so we’re more drawn to people who are kind, polite, and welcoming. If they greet people with a smile, let others talk, and treat everyone equally, we instantly find them more likeable. In contrast, if they speak with some people and not others and interrupt people regularly, this reveals the kind of person they really are. They care mostly about themselves, so we’ll avoid them at all costs.
11. Their vulnerability
The ability to be vulnerable is an important quality to most introverts because it allows us to see the real you and not just the person you present to others. Many people do conceal things about themselves, especially when meeting people for the first time. So if they can share a little snippet of themselves, this lets us know that they’re comfortable around us, which in turn, makes us feel more comfortable around them.
12. If they engage in small talk
Generally speaking, introverts aren’t big fans of small talk. We do engage in a bit of small talk sometimes, but we prefer to discuss more engaging, deep, and thought-provoking topics. If we meet someone who engages in a lot of small talk such as talking about the weather, traffic, and the news, we’ll probably assume that we won’t be friends. However, if you start talking about your favorite movie and explain why you love it, we’ll instantly feel more drawn to you.
13. How they present themselves
When we observe, we notice everything. We look at your appearance and how you dress, as that can reveal a lot about you. If you’re going to a social gathering wearing a suit, we’ll assume that you’re someone who is more serious and formal. If you have a loud, booming voice, we’ll assume that you’re confident and sure of yourself. All of these little details paint a picture of you in our minds and tell us if you’re the kind of person we could be friends with.
14. Their sense of humor
While introverts are quieter than extroverts, we still love to hear jokes and laugh. I mean, we love to laugh just as much as anyone. As introverts, we can sometimes feel like outsiders, so the ability to make us laugh and put us at ease is unmatched. If you don’t take yourself too seriously and have a great sense of humor, we’ll instantly warm up to you.
15. Their vibe
Introverts are more sensitive to people’s emotions and their aura. We can easily spot things that could slip under the radar. If we meet someone who appears nice on the surface, but their facial expressions and body language isn’t quite matching what they’re saying, we know not to trust them completely. They could be hiding something about themselves. We call this the introvert vibe checker — it doesn’t often let us down.
