Are people drawn to you because you’re so skilled at reading them even when they don’t tell you what’s on their mind, or because you’re such an excellent listener? Are you the advice giver of your social circle? If you identify with any of these 15 signs, you’re reaching sky-high empathy levels.
1. You paraphrase what people say to show you’re listening.
If you’re skilled at active listening, you’re more empathetic than other people. An example of this is if you nod your head during conversation and rephrase what other people say to better understand their point of view. This behavior shows that you’re giving the person your undivided attention and showing genuine interest in their feelings. It’s refreshing ’cause many people seem distracted or just want to talk about themselves during interactions.
2. You notice body language cues.
If your friend seems stressed out because her smile is a bit forced, or you can tell your co-worker is frustrated because their tone of voice has gone up a pitch, you’ll call it out by gently asking the person if they’re okay. You easily pick up on body language cues from people, which means you’re skilled at sensing how they feel, even if they don’t spell it out for you, per Inc.
3. You remember details people tell you.
Maybe your partner told you they hate chocolate-covered raisins, so you won’t buy them a bag of the sweet treat during a grocery shopping trip. Or, maybe your friend said that she’s afraid of an upcoming doctor’s appointment, prompting you to check in with her on the day of it. Whatever people say, you’ll remember it! This thoughtfulness shows people in your life that you care about them because you’re always considering their needs and preferences.
4. You avoid small talk.
If you prefer not to talk about trivial topics at social gatherings, such as the weather or traffic, you could have higher empathy levels. You want to have meaningful conversations with other people because you’re motivated by a need to understand them on a deeper, more emotional level. You might also be considering their preferences in an attempt to form a closer connection.
5. You’re aware of other people’s comfort levels.
When spending time with other people, you’ll check in with them to ensure they’re comfortable, such as if you’ve taken them on a hiking date that drags them out of their comfort zone, or if you’ve suggested having a difficult conversation. This shows that you’re willing to cater to their needs instead of dismissing their feelings. Displaying compassion makes people feel safe around you.
6. You validate other people’s feelings.
When someone opens up to you about their emotions, you’re not the type to jump in with unsolicited advice or judgments. Instead, you try to acknowledge what they’re experiencing so that they can express themselves openly. So, you might do this by saying, “Thank you for being honest about how you feel” or “I’m here to support you through whatever you’re feeling.”
7. You don’t hold grudges.
Instead of holding on to resentment in your relationships, you try to forgive people as much as possible. This is a sign of empathy because you strive to see the other person’s perspective and feelings. You know that everyone makes mistakes, so you don’t hold it over them. Instead, you focus on moving past negativity to foster healthier relationships.
8. You include other people in your conversations.
If you’re at a social gathering, and you can see people standing off to the side on their own, you’ll try to bring them into the conversations you’re having. You’re highly aware of what other people could be feeling, such as sadness and isolation, so you strive to be as inclusive as possible. This makes you empathetic and charismatic to be around.
9. You engage in emotional mirroring.
Emotional minoring is when you unconsciously or consciously reflects other people’s emotions. Examples include if you smile because the other person is smiling, or frown if they’re frowning. This is a sign of high empathy levels because you’re mimicking their emotions to foster a connection with them and make them feel understood.
10. You’re moved by other people’s stories.
When you see a sad news story, you’ll not only find yourself getting teary-eyed, but you’ll want to donate money to a cause or do something else to help people who are going through a difficult time. Sometimes, your empathy for other people’s joy or suffering can feel overwhelming because you tend to take on other people’s struggles, such as those of your loved ones.
11. You experience emotional exhaustion.
Since you’re constantly reaching out to people and trying to put yourself in their shoes, it can be taxing. You might find that you feel drained and exhausted on a regular basis, causing you to need lots of time to recharge your energy reserves. This gives you a chance to invest in your emotional well-being, instead of always prioritizing everyone else’s.
12. You’re the mediator of your social circle.
When friends are fighting each other, they’ll call you for help to defuse the tension. You’ve become the peacemaker of your friend group, trying to help people work through their drama so that you maintain harmony and peace. You’re skilled at conflict resolution because you see other people’s perspectives and people find it easy to talk to you.
13. You’re supportive without being intrusive.
When someone’s going through a challenging time, you’re skilled at showing concern without being a nag (a fine balance, as Wondermind notes). So, you’ll check in on your friend who’s going through a breakup or experiencing depression without asking them a ton of questions to put them on the spot. Your approach is about showing the person that you’re there if they need you so they don’t feel alone.
14. You anticipate other people’s needs.
You notice what other people need without them having to tell you about their unspoken feelings. So, if you can tell that your partner is stressed at work, you’ll do something nice for them, like cooking their favorite meal. Or, if your roommate is struggling with lots of tasks, you’ll take on some extra chores around the house. By doing this, you show people that you’re observant of their feelings while offering them support.
15. You’re always asked for your advice.
People usually gravitate to you when they need help with their problems, or they need to vent. This is because you’re an empath. By being a good listener and someone who offers support without judgment, people feel safe to open up about what’s in their hearts. If people say you offer them excellent advice, it could also be because you’re thoughtful about their needs and feelings, and everyone just wants to feel heard.
