When you think of what it means to bounce back after setbacks, you might think of someone defeating the odds, like climbing a mountain without any ropes or surviving a horrific tragedy, without losing their upbeat nature. But resilience isn’t always about the huge moments in one’s life. Sometimes, they’re about the subtle behaviors you do daily that keep you strong. Here are 15 signs you’re resilient, even if you don’t think you are.
1. You’re honest about your emotions.
When you’re open about your feelings, both to yourself and the people in your life, you can deal with your issues head-on instead of hiding from them. According to Time, this creates emotional resilience because, whether you’re feeling angry, sad, or fearful, you can analyze the feeling’s source and better understand it. Tapping into your feelings regularly prevents uncomfortable emotions from accumulating and making you feel overwhelmed.
2. You handle stressful days with acceptance.
Everyone has difficult days that make them anxious. But you’re a resilient person if you can deal with them with grace. Instead of throwing a tantrum because there are obstacles in your way, such as your boss giving a promotion to your co-worker instead of you or a date ghosting you, you accept that there are going to be bad days but remind yourself that they’ll pass. Resilience isn’t just about fighting hard to overcome situations — it’s also about knowing that when you stop struggling, you can float!
3. You know who to call when you’re down and out.
It’s essential to have friends on speed-dial who can give you a pep talk when you’re feeling low on confidence. As a resilient person, you reach out to your support system, and it keeps you on track. An important part of being strong is having positive, resilient people in your circle. They help you to stand when life’s trying to bring you to your knees.
4. You deal with your fears.
Although you might think a resilient person pushes their fears aside, the truth is that they look what scares them in the eye. Doing this regularly helps you to overcome what’s holding you back, no matter how small. Maybe you’re afraid of dating rejection, so you’ll dare to swipe right on someone’s dating profile. Or, if you’re afraid of public speaking, you’ll try to speak to small groups of people to break down the fear. The bottom line: by being aware of your fears, you can dissolve them.
5. You have a positive voice in your head.
If you’re walking around with negative self-talk, you’re going to be feeling anxious and stressed or like you’re not good enough. On the other hand, if you’re speaking to yourself with kindness, this keeps you in a positive state. Being optimistic opens you up to feeling more grateful and present, both of which help you move through life with the feeling that things will work out. So, what positive thoughts should you be telling yourself? Consider using mantras such as “I am strong and capable” or “I am open to new possibilities.”
6. You have a clear goal.
Having a defined goal gives you direction and a sense of purpose in life. When you know what you’re striving for, it becomes easier to stay motivated and focused, even when you experience setbacks. This drive also prevents you from getting distracted by things, such as your mistakes or fears, giving you blinkers so you can look ahead at where you’re going.
7. You love learning about people’s lives.
You’re always eager to increase your knowledge. You’re the person who likes to ask people questions about their lives to understand them. While this makes you more empathetic, it also means you’re resilient because exposure to different life experiences helps you put your own issues into perspective. When you understand that other people have faced and overcome significant challenges, this inspires you to persevere through your own difficulties.
8. You engage in regular self-care.
If you don’t look after yourself and stay healthy, how can you deal with life’s various challenges? It’s like not eating carbs before going for a run — you’ll run out of fuel! You know you’re resilient if you regularly engage in self-care activities to recharge your batteries, release stress, and build a relationship with yourself. Self-care ensures that you have the mental and physical wellbeing to handle whatever life throws your way.
9. You laugh about bad things that happen.
If you find yourself chuckling during dark times, even when it seems like there’s nothing to laugh about, this is a big sign you’re more resilient than you think. This isn’t about laughing things off to forget about them, which doesn’t work. Rather, it’s about trying to find the humor in your situation because it helps you to de-stress and gain some perspective without taking yourself too seriously. In this way, laughter can keep you strong and healthy.
10. You try not to complain too much.
When things go wrong, you might feel negative and complain a lot about your situation. While that’s totally normal, it doesn’t do you any good if you’re a chronic complainer. A subtle sign of resilience is shutting out thoughts that make you spiral into negativity. If you can’t be positive about your challenge, try to be neutral and take things as they come. This is more constructive than complaining, which is like quicksand that keeps you stuck in a bad moment.
11. You own your mistakes.
When you slip up and do something wrong, whether in your job or relationship, you’re quick to own it and apologize. How does that make you resilient? Well, when you view mistakes as opportunities to learn more about yourself and improve, you grow as a person. This makes you stronger so you can face setbacks instead of running away from them or blaming other people for what goes wrong.
12. You meditate regularly.
Daily meditation and mindfulness help you to gain more awareness of your thoughts and feelings, enabling you to identify and address areas of personal growth. These practices encourage feelings of calm, so you can handle stressful situations effectively. In addition, it’s been found that meditation keeps your body healthy, such as by lowering your blood pressure, according to Harvard Medicine, so on the physical side of things, it keeps you strong enough to cope with challenges.
13. You distract yourself to gain perspective.
Although some people might assume that if you distract yourself from your feelings or stressful situations you’re running away from your problems, it’s actually a sign of resilience! This is because you’re not falling into the trap of beating yourself up with negative thoughts or constant frustration about a problem. Instead, you’re resetting your emotional state, which helps you to approach your issue with a clearer, calmer focus.
14. You focus on the things you can control.
When you focus on aspects of a situation that you can control, it empowers you. You feel more capable of influencing outcomes, which is essential for resilience because it reinforces the belief in yourself that you can deal with circumstances positively. Resilient people understand that their control lies in how they react to change, which keeps them open to finding new solutions and strategies.
15. You stick to the same routine.
If you stick to your daily schedule, you might not realize that it’s helping you to become more resilient. Having a stable, consistent routine helps you to feel more in control of chaotic situations. Routines are good coping mechanisms because they enable you to engage in familiar activities that can be grounding and soothing, reducing your feelings of stress and anxiety.
