Helicopter parents raise kids who constantly feel scrutinized and micromanaged. While their intentions might be good, this parenting style can have lasting consequences because it stifles the child’s development of independence and problem-solving skills. As a result, here are some subtle but common behaviors seen in adults who grew up with overly involved parents.
1. They second-guess themselves on everything.
It’s common for kids who grew up with helicopter parents to feel like they can’t trust themselves. This is because their parents were always jumping in to help them before they even had a chance to try to work things out on their own. So, whether they’re choosing a movie to watch or a state to live in, they’re going to pick their brains apart to get to the right decision.
2. They let their problems pile up.
People who grew up with helicopter parents might struggle to know how to solve their problems. That’s because they never had to do it for themselves! They might hide this for a while, until their issues pile up and they have to call someone else for help. When they try to be proactive, they might second-guess the solutions they come up with, which only leads to more self-doubt.
3. They avoid solo travel.
While they might say they don’t like going on solo vacations because they prefer having company, sometimes people who grew up with helicopter parents struggle with doing anything on their own. Their childhood was spent being hovered over by their parents, so they never learned the importance and joy of being on their own. Their sense of independence is basically non-existent.
4. They fish for compliments.
People who had helicopter parents had to try to get their folks’ approval all the time, and they could have carried this into their adulthood. So, they’ll try to get compliments and approval from their friends. They might say something like, “This dress looks horrible on me” in the hope that their friend will say, “No, you look great!” They’re desperate for external validation because it’s all they’ve ever known.
5. They have a fear of making mistakes.
Although helicopter parents try to monitor their kids for their well-being, this backfires pretty often — their kids end up feeling like they don’t know how to stand on their own two feet. A symptom of this is that they’ll be terrified of making mistakes, so they don’t even bother to try. In the end, this means they don’t get the opportunity to grow and learn from their setbacks and challenges.
6. They choose partners who lead them.
People who had helicopter parents who did everything for them and always told them what to do might end up with romantic partners who lead the relationship. Their gravitation towards more overbearing partners may be subconscious, but it soon becomes obvious that their preferences are rooted in their inability to be in the driver’s seat in their own lives.
7. They’re afraid of receiving negative feedback.
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Giving someone who was raised by helicopter parents criticism or negative feedback can really dent their self-esteem, which might already be low because they never built it up during childhood. Their parents taught them to strive for perfection, so when they don’t reach their high standards, they can’t deal.
8. They try to side-step taking risks.
Someone who grew up with helicopter parents might try to stick to their comfort zones as much as possible. They might have been controlled so much that they never tried new things or took risks, so they’re unlikely to take a shot at something new. When they’re crushing on someone, they won’t make the first move. Similarly, they won’t pursue their passions because they don’t want to be judged or criticized.
9. They struggle with healthy stress responses.
According to WebMD, being raised by helicopter parents who were always monitoring them can make people struggle with stress into adulthood. They lack healthy responses to stress, so they might throw a tantrum or feel helpless when something doesn’t go their way.
10. They suffer from anxiety.
Coming from a childhood that’s filled with monitoring and tons of instructions from parents is stressful and can lead to anxiety disorders. According to Healthline, sometimes, the parents’ anxiety about the world and future can seep down into their kids, causing serious mental and emotional health issues later in life.
11. They don’t have an organized space.
Whether it’s their workplace cubicle or apartment, their spaces are always untidy. It’s difficult for them to keep an organized home or workspace because they lack healthy coping skills, or they never learned to be tidy because their parents were always doing their chores.
12. They focus on other people’s needs.
People who grew up with helicopter parents might be generous and kind, but they could be actually hiding their own needs. They’re so used to thinking about other people — yup, it started with their parents — and what they want that they totally forget about themselves.
13. They’re “yes” people.
It might seem like the person in one’s social circle who always says “yes” and is down for any experience is fun to be around, but there could be some helicopter parenting that happened in their childhood to make them like that. They say “yes” to everything because they want other people’s validation and approval.
14. They call their parents for confirmation.
It’s easy to assume that people who have helicopter parents are still close, even in adulthood, because of how they reach out to their parents when they need advice. It becomes a sign of a lack of independence when they’re always calling their parents for advice and following it to the letter.
