It’s an unsettling feeling to know you’re being watched. If you’ve dated a narcissist, you’ve probably experienced firsthand how they want to control and manipulate you (like by tracking your movements). What’s worse is that their stalker-like behavior can continue even after the relationship has ended. But, why do they do this? Here are 15 reasons why narcissists like to monitor their partners and exes.
1. They Want A Backup Plan.
Since narcissists are insecure, they don’t like to be alone. This is why they’ll always try to have a backup plan (or two) in place. Even if they’ve moved on after your relationship, they’ll think of you as their go-to option if they don’t have anyone else, which is why they like to stay updated on the latest happenings in your life.
2. They Want Information To Use Against You.
Narcissists like to stay in the loop about your life as much as possible. This gives them information they can use against you. For example, if they know you’ve moved on with someone else, they can threaten to tell the person lies about you to derail your life and happiness.
3. They’re Trying To Regain Control.
For narcissists, their biggest goal is to have control in relationships. You may feel like you’re regaining your power after you’ve walked away from them, but some narcissists will track your movements. They might even install a tracking app on your phone to help them achieve their goal.
4. They Want To See You Suffer.
It’s sad how cruel narcissists can be. They want to see you suffer, especially if you abandoned them because they can’t handle rejection. To achieve this, they might resort to manipulative tactics such as gaslighting you or being emotionally abusive to scare you.
5. They’re Hoovering.
Hoovering refers to how narcissists want to sweep you back into their lives after your relationship has ended. They’ll try to keep tabs on you so they can be at certain places where they can run into you and try to rekindle the relationship.
6. They Want To Throw You Off.
Narcissists like to unsettle you because when you’re feeling anxious or confused, they can sit in the driver’s seat and feel in control of the situation. They have many strategies up their sleeve to throw you off, such as delivering flowers to your place of work or pitching up at your birthday party when they weren’t invited.
7. They Fear Being Abandoned.
Since they have a huge fear of rejection and being isolated, they try to compensate. How? By keeping track of your whereabouts. This makes them feel that they’ve still got the upper hand.
8. They Want To Keep An Eye Out For Potential Threats.
A narcissist doesn’t want you to move on and be happy. So, they’ll track your online and offline habits to scan for any threats in the form of someone entering your life and becoming your romantic partner.
9. They Want Narcissistic Supply.
Narcissists crave attention and praise from others. To get this from you, they might monitor or stalk you. They’ll use any opportunity to get in touch and try to suck praise or compliments from you because it feeds their ego.
10. They See You As Their Possession.
A sick reason why narcissists like to monitor your activity? They don’t see you as a human being but as one of their belongings. They have zero empathy and only want to know what they can get from other people. This can be praise, attention, or information.
11. They Want To Violate Your Boundaries.
Since narcissists don’t care about your feelings, they don’t respect your boundaries. They’ll smash through them, especially when it comes to your privacy so that they can control you. When you have strong boundaries in place, they become angry because they want to be in charge of the situation.
12. They Want To Control The Story You Tell.
Although narcissists might want to violate your privacy, they’re scared of what you’re disclosing to others about them. This is why they might keep an eye on your life and activities—they want to be sure that you’re not spreading negative tales. It kills them to feel like they’re not in control.
13. They’re Panicked About Running Out Of Options.
Earlier, we mentioned that narcissists like to have backup plans in place. Well, if you’ve chosen to leave them, they’ll freak out that they don’t have any option left. This can make them start stalking you to gain revenge or to love-bomb you into taking them back.
14. They Can’t Handle Being Dumped Or Ghosted.
If you’ve broken up with, or ghosted, the narcissist in your life, you might find that they blow up emotionally. They can’t deal with not being able to contact you or being disregarded in such a harsh way. Instead of walking away, they’ll become obsessed with knowing what you’re up to.
15. They’re Playing A Game Of Mixed Messages.
Narcissists are kings or queens of giving you hot and cold signals. It’s part of their abuse cycle to dominate you, and stalking or monitoring you falls into their plans. One minute, they’ll tell you they want you back. The next, they’ll spread rumors about you. They do this to weaken your self-worth and manipulate you.
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