Are you someone who commands the utmost respect of others, or do you consistently find yourself being disrespected? Respect is a virtue that’s earned, which means that it can be taken away, too. The more respect you command from others, the more seriously you’re taken as a person, which goes far in both personal and work life. Here are several simple yet effective behaviors of people who command respect from others.
1. They dress well.
People who command the utmost respect are usually sharp dressers. They know how to take themselves seriously when wearing clothes and always dress for the occasion. When they go to work, they make sure to wear a suit and tie, even on days when casual is allowed. When it’s the weekend, they’ll dress a little down but still keep it smart with a collared polo shirt and khakis.
2. They control their emotions.
People who are revered and respected by others are capable of controlling their emotions. Perhaps you know someone like this—no matter what happens to them, they always face life head-on without getting exasperated. They don’t get angry in the heat of an argument or insult their partner out of frustration. They don’t make disagreements personal and are quick to try and resolve them. They also know the right time to criticize and the right time to show support.
3. They have clear boundaries.
People who are well-respected in their community typically know what it means to set limits around aspects of their lives. They understand how important boundaries are when it comes to romantic and platonic relationships. For example, they aren’t afraid to be honest and say no if they don’t want to do something. They are careful about who they choose to be friends with, and if their friends ask them to borrow money or give them a ride, they’re happy to accommodate—but not every time. They draw the line when they don’t think it’s wise to lend someone money or they don’t have the time to give them a lift.
4. They carefully compliment.
People who get walked all over are usually quick with their flattery and compliments. On the other hand, people who command respect are willing to compliment but do so when it’s the right time. They might say, “I’ve been watching you work on that for a long time now, and I just wanted to say you’re doing great.” It means so much more because they don’t hand out compliments freely.
5. They are reserved.
People who command other people’s respect are often reserved and might come across as standoffish at first. However, all this means is that they’re taking everything in and being intentional about how they act. They’re not quick to jump to a decision. If you’re debating with this person and another friend, they’ll sit back and let others talk before they share their opinion and keep their tone neutral.
6. They move slowly.
People capable of commanding the utmost respect from others don’t rush haphazardly through life, making rash decisions and hoping for the best. They think carefully through each situation and move slowly enough to let their brain catch up with their body. For example, they might have applied for a job, done the interview, and been told they got it. Instead of jumping up and being loud and celebrating, they quietly savor the moment and then take the day to think about whether this is the job they want.
7. They talk intentionally.
When someone who commands respect talks, everyone listens. This is because they talk deliberately. Again, you might be in a group setting where you’re having a friendly debate with several people. The ones who command the most respect will really think about what they want to say and let others speak first. They will talk slowly, softly, and calmly, which makes you want to listen closely.
8. They don’t try to impress everyone.
People who command respect don’t feel the need to constantly impress others. In social situations, they don’t spend the entire time talking about themselves and how great they are. They don’t list all of their personal achievements to date and neglect to ask anyone about themselves. They remain composed and articulate, showing genuine interest in the other person. When the other person talks, they listen without distraction.
9. They have good eye contact.
Another simple behavior of someone who commands the respect of others is looking you in the eye when talking to you. For example, when you’re talking to someone who commands respect at a social event, they’ll not only ask you personal questions about your life but also maintain a steady gaze with you. They won’t be looking around the room, wishing they were talking to someone else. This implies they’re interested in you and care about what you’re saying.
10. They forgive but don’t forget.
People who command others’ respect are quick to forgive when someone wrongs them and aren’t likely to hold a grudge. However, this doesn’t mean that they will forget. For example, if someone asks them to borrow money and they lend it to them, but then that person doesn’t pay them back, they’re willing to forgive them. However, they’re not likely to lend more money to that person in the future.
11. They don’t sweat the small stuff.
If you’re not someone who gets exasperated over the trivial things in life, you’re likely someone who commands others’ respect. You know there’s no point getting up in arms about minor things, like a flat tire on the way to work, taking two days off work because your partner is sick and needs your help, or accidentally dropping and breaking a glass. You stay composed and calm and know that things like this aren’t a big deal compared to the big picture.
12. They use “I” statements.
When someone who commands others’ respect talks about how they feel to someone, they make sure that they’re only speaking for themselves. For example, in a disagreement, instead of saying, “You are making me feel frustrated,” they’ll say, “I feel like this situation is frustrating me, which is why I’m bringing it up.” They aren’t quick to blame others and play the victim.
13. They have a positive attitude.
Even in the face of life’s trials, people who command others’ respect will have a good attitude. Instead of losing it with an exasperated tone, they’ll try to see the situation’s silver lining. For example, if they just found out they lost their job, they might say, “It’s frustrating for sure, but now I get to apply for the job I really want.”
14. They don’t interrupt others.
People who command others’ respect don’t try to make everything about themselves and command conversations. Instead, they give others the time to speak and talk when it’s their turn. When conversing with them, you’ll find that they are attentive and polite, giving you the space to reply. If they have to interrupt, they’ll say, “Excuse me,” or “I’m so sorry.”
15. They give credit where credit is due.
People who are respected by others are quick to credit others instead of trying to make it all about them. Say, for example, you work on a group project at work. If you command respect, you’ll ensure everyone gets a mention when presenting the project to the rest of the office. You’ll make sure to point out who contributed what and how it helped the group get the job done as a whole.
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