You know that nagging feeling you get sometimes, like maybe you’re not quite ready to get into a relationship? Well, you might be onto something. In this article, we’re going to shine a spotlight on those personality quirks and life circumstances that might be screaming “Not ready for a relationship!” louder than your aunt at a family barbecue. Here we go.
1. You’re easily bored.
If you find yourself quickly bored, then there’s a good chance that you’re not ready to be in a relationship. You may have a track record of dating someone for a couple of months, but once the routine side of the relationship sets in, you start to get antsy. You begin to think about how fun it would be if you were single and if you should pursue life independently.
2. You’re super independent.
If you like doing everything independently and caring for yourself, you might not be compatible with being in a relationship. Perhaps you left home at 18, and you’ve been on your own ever since—through college, the start of your career, and other life goals like getting your first apartment and owning a home. If you can’t imagine doing all of this with someone else, then you might be better off solo.
3. You have trust issues.
When someone lets you down, you take it personally and have difficulty letting them back in again, whether it’s a colleague at work who was sick on presentation day or your best friend who couldn’t make it to your birthday party. Those are trust issues and they’re not great for the overall health and success of relationships.
4. You don’t want to be tied down.
You like the idea of having a significant other, but you know you’d still want to date other people and experience life outside of the relationship. While that may work for some, most people expect a certain level of commitment in a relationship. If you don’t think you can rise to that level, you might be unable to be in a relationship (at least a monogamous one).
5. You hate confrontation.
Perhaps you grew up hearing your parents arguing all the time, and as a result, you avoid conflict as much as possible. When someone at work brings up a grievance with you, you ignore them, avoid them, or pretend that nothing’s wrong. Confrontation is an inevitable part of being in a relationship, so if you’re not someone who does well with that, according to Psych Central, dating might not be in the cards for you just yet.
6. You always have to be right.
Maybe you were an only child growing up, so you’re used to getting your way. And even now, as an adult, you’re known as the dominant one in the friend group who decides what you do. When you debate with someone about something, whether it is black holes or politics; you fiercely defend your perspective and usually come out the victor. When someone feels it’s their way or the highway, things can quickly go south in a relationship.
7. You don’t like talking about your feelings.
You’ve never been good at talking about how you feel, so you don’t see how this would change if you were dating someone. But if you’re so emotionally shut down that you couldn’t give a partner good communication if you tried, according to Business Insider, it might not be time to have a significant other.
8. You’re impulsive.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying spontaneous fun, but if you’re impulsive, that might clash with a partner in a relationship. Perhaps you’re impulsive with your money and not good at keeping an eye on your savings account. Or maybe you decide to take a trip across the world on a whim. If you dated someone, you would have to learn to reign it in.
9. You need a lot of time alone.
There’s independence, and then there’s independence, as in someone who needs to spend most of their time alone. Perhaps you love waking up in the morning to nobody, whistling while you get your coffee from the kitchen, and relish the thought of spending all day at your desk at work without being disturbed. If that’s the case, then being in a partnership might not be for you.
10. You’re too emotional.
While being emotionally shut down doesn’t gel well with being in a relationship, so does being too emotional. Perhaps your parents never taught you how to regulate your emotions, so you can’t help but let them fly free. Maybe you take everything personally, from the friendly banter passed around the break room at work to the teasing within your friend group. Emotional volatility and relationships do not mesh.
11. You’re constantly comparing.
You can’t help but compare yourself to others, whether it’s Instagram influencers or people you went to high school with. This translates into a relationship—you’d likely be spending a lot of time comparing your partner to other people. You’d always wonder if you could do better, maybe critiquing your parent’s behavior and ending the relationship before it had a chance to begin.
12. You’re insecure.
If you have lots of insecurities, you might want to work on that before getting into a relationship. Because that translates to neediness in a partnership—where you constantly ask your partner for reassurance. Or you could also smother your partner, demanding they spend every waking moment with you and isolate them from their friends and family.
13. You don’t want to get married one day.
When someone decides that marriage isn’t in their future, they must be careful before getting into a relationship. While some people are prepared to date casually, many people looking for a partner want to find the person they’ll hopefully marry one day. If you’ve already decided that you don’t want to get married, this will limit the dating pool and might not be compatible with being in a relationship.
14. You’re not adventurous.
There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, but if you’re unwilling to break your routine and try new things with your partner, this could spell incompatibility. A partner may want to try rock climbing on the weekend or go on a cruise for a few days. You can’t imagine breaking your routine of going to work, coming home, and going to bed, so you sit out. That doesn’t make for a fun relationship.
15. You’re not emotionally mature.
Another personality trait holding you back from being in a relationship is that you’re not emotionally mature. For example, when you argue with someone, you immediately resort to name-calling, talking condescendingly, and gaslighting. When you argue with your best friend, you call them stupid and give them the cold shoulder for a week. You don’t know how to communicate constructively during a stressful moment and that is dangerous in a relationship.
