We’ve all met those people who seem to radiate an almost magnetic charm and confidence, but after spending some time with them, something feels a little…off. It’s like they’re constantly playing a starring role in their own movie, and everyone else is just an extra. While some of us enjoy being the center of attention every now and then, for others, it’s a constant need. This is where we start to see signs of narcissistic behavior. If you’re wondering whether someone you know might be leaning towards narcissism, keep an eye out for these subtle clues.
1. They have an inflated sense of self-importance.
People with narcissistic tendencies often believe they’re better than everyone else, exaggerating their achievements and talents. They may come across as arrogant or boastful, expecting constant admiration and praise. They might drop names of famous people they supposedly know or talk endlessly about their accomplishments, even in situations where it’s not relevant or appropriate.
2. They lack empathy.
According to Psych Central, one of the most telling signs of narcissistic behavior is a lack of empathy. They have difficulty recognizing or understanding other people’s feelings and needs. They may be dismissive of your concerns or problems, quickly turning the conversation back to themselves. They might interrupt you frequently or seem uninterested in what you have to say unless it relates to them in some way.
3. They crave constant admiration and attention.
Narcissists thrive on attention and validation. They may fish for compliments, become sulky if they don’t get the attention they crave, or try to one-up everyone’s achievements. They might dominate conversations, steering them towards topics where they can show off their knowledge or expertise. Their social media feeds might be filled with selfies and posts designed to garner likes and comments.
4. They shamelessly take advantage of people to achieve their own goals.
People with narcissistic tendencies often see people as tools to be used for their own benefit. They might manipulate or exploit people to get what they want, showing little regard for the impact their actions have on other people. They might take credit for your ideas, make promises they don’t intend to keep, or borrow money with no intention of paying it back.
5. They have a sense of entitlement.
Narcissists often believe they deserve special treatment and are entitled to more than everyone else. They might expect preferential treatment in restaurants or stores, become angry if they don’t get their way, or feel entitled to your time and attention even when you’re busy. They might believe they are above the rules and should not be held accountable for their actions.
6. They’re jealous of everyone but believe other people are jealous of them.
Narcissists often feel envious of other people’s accomplishments or possessions, even while believing that the reverse is true. They might belittle your achievements, make snide comments about your appearance or lifestyle, or try to undermine your success. They may become competitive in situations where it’s not necessary, always striving to be the best or the most successful.
7. They have fragile egos and are easily offended.
Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have fragile egos that are easily bruised. They may become defensive or angry when criticized, even if the criticism is constructive. They might hold grudges for perceived slights or insults, even if they were unintentional. They might lash out verbally or emotionally if they feel their self-image is threatened.
8. They have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
Narcissists often struggle to form and maintain healthy relationships due to their self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and need for control. They may be demanding partners, expecting their needs to be met at the expense of their partner’s. They might be emotionally unavailable, unable to reciprocate the affection and support their partner offers. They might also be unfaithful, seeing infidelity as a way to boost their ego or escape from boredom.
9. They have a tendency to gaslight and manipulate.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating situations and conversations to make you doubt your own perceptions and sanity. They might deny saying or doing things, even when you have clear evidence, or twist your words to make you look like the unreasonable one. They might play the victim, blaming you for their own mistakes or shortcomings. This constant manipulation can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of yourself.
10. They lack genuine interest in other people’s lives.
While they might seem charming and engaging at first, narcissists often lack genuine interest what anyone else has going on in their lives. They might ask superficial questions without really listening to your answers, or interrupt you to talk about themselves. They might forget important details about your life, such as your birthday or your job because they’re not truly invested in getting to know you.
11. They project their own insecurities onto other people.
Narcissists often struggle with deep-seated insecurities, which they may project as a defense mechanism. They might accuse you of being selfish or inconsiderate when they are the ones displaying those behaviors. They might criticize your appearance or choices to make themselves feel better about their own flaws or insecurities.
12. They have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions.
Narcissists rarely apologize sincerely or take responsibility for their mistakes. They might blame other people for their problems, make excuses for their behavior, or minimize the impact of their actions. They might also deflect blame by turning the tables and accusing you of being the one who caused the problem.
13. They often have a history of unstable relationships.
Due to their self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and manipulative tendencies, narcissists often have a trail of broken relationships in their wake. They might have a history of short-lived romances, friendships that ended abruptly, or strained family ties. They might also have difficulty maintaining long-term commitments, such as marriage or parenthood.
14. They often react with rage or aggression when their ego is threatened.
While they might appear calm and collected on the surface, narcissists can have explosive tempers when their ego is threatened, Verywell Mind warns. They might react with anger or aggression if you criticize them, disagree with them, or challenge their authority. They might also resort to passive-aggressive behaviors, such as silent treatment or sulking, to punish you for perceived slights.
15. They often see the world in black and white terms, with no shades of gray.
Narcissists often have a rigid, all-or-nothing view of the world. They might see people as either perfect or worthless, situations as either successes or failures, and themselves as either superior or inferior. This black-and-white thinking can make it difficult for them to compromise, see nuance in situations, or accept different perspectives. They might also have difficulty coping with setbacks or failures, seeing them as a threat to their inflated self-image.