1. The “I’m Fine” Smile
You know that smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes? Their laugh might sound a bit like a recorded sitcom track—present, but not quite real. Watch for those moments when they think no one’s looking…that’s when the mask slips, and you catch a glimpse of what’s really going on inside.
2. The Vanishing Act
Suddenly, they’re busy every time you invite them out. When they do show up, they’re checking their watch more than they’re checking in with friends. This isn’t just them having a moment of introversion, it’s a noticeable change from their usual social butterfly (or even just regular butterfly) status. They might throw out excuses, but you can tell there’s more to the story. Pay attention to how they act when they do show up—are they really there, or just going through the motions?
3. Sleep? What’s that?
Either they’re sleeping like it’s an Olympic sport or they’re up at 3 AM liking your Instagram posts from 2015. When you ask how they’re sleeping, you might get a vague “fine” or an overly detailed account of their new bedtime routine (spoiler alert: it’s not working). Look for those telltale signs of sleep struggles—the extra-large coffee orders, the concealer under their eyes, or the way they seem to zone out mid-conversation.
4. Hobbies Are Nonexistent
Remember how they used to talk your ear off about their stamp collection or their rock climbing adventures? Now, when you bring it up, they just shrug it off like it’s last year’s fashion trend. It’s losing that spark that made them, well, them. Maybe they still go through the motions, but the passion’s gone (also called anhedonia, according to the Cleveland Clinic). It’s like watching someone try to dance to music they can’t hear anymore.
5. The Irritation Station
Your usually chill friend is snapping at the barista for putting too much foam on their latte. Everything seems to get under their skin, from loud chewers to people who walk too slowly. After these outbursts, you might even catch a look of surprise or shame on their face, like they can’t believe they just did that.
6. The Mysterious Ailments
Headaches, stomach issues, that weird pain in their left elbow—you name it, they’ve got it. But here’s the thing: doctors can’t seem to find anything wrong. It’s like their body is trying to send an SOS that their mind won’t admit to. Pay attention to how often they complain about these phantom pains, especially if they use them as reasons to bail on plans.
7. The Fridge Whisperer
Maybe they’re raiding the fridge like it’s going out of style, or perhaps they’re pushing peas around their plate like a kid avoiding vegetables. It’s not just about weight changes (though those might happen too), it’s about how they talk about food. Is it their new best friend or their worst enemy? Listen for comments about “eating their feelings” or skipping meals because they “forgot” to eat.
8. The “I Woke Up Like This” Look
Personal grooming has taken a backseat…and we’re not talking about a trendy, just-rolled-out-of-bed look. It’s more like they’ve been wearing the same shirt for a week, and their hair looks like a bird’s nest. Watch for those little details they used to pride themselves on—the perfectly manicured nails, the crisp ironed shirts—suddenly becoming a thing of the past.
9. The Self-Roast Master
Sure, we all joke about our flaws sometimes, but this is different. They’re putting themselves down and it’s not just for laughs. Listen for those off-hand comments that are a bit too real, the ones that make you wince instead of chuckle. It’s like they’re beating everyone else to the punch, but the only one throwing punches is them.
10. Decisions? More Like Indecisions
Choosing a restaurant used to be their superpower, but now asking them what they want for lunch is like asking them to solve world peace. They hem and haw over the smallest choices, paralyzed by the fear of making the “wrong” decision. Watch how they react when put on the spot—that deer-in-headlights look isn’t just indecisiveness, it’s a deep-seated fear that they’ll mess everything up, no matter what they choose.
11. The “It’s 5 o’clock Somewhere” Mentality
That glass of wine with dinner has turned into a bottle, or maybe they’re hitting the bars more often than usual. It’s not about the amount, it’s about the reason behind it. Listen for those jokes about needing a drink to deal with… well, everything. It’s like they’re trying to take the edge off, but that edge just keeps getting sharper.
12. The Emotional Flatline
Good news, bad news—it all gets the same shrug. When something awesome happens, watch for that delayed reaction, like they’re trying to remember how they’re supposed to feel. It’s not just a bad mood, their emotional fuse has blown, and they can’t quite figure out how to reset it.
13. The Nostalgia Trap
They’re a broken record of “remember whens” and “if onlys.” They’re dwelling on past mistakes like they’re binge-watching their own personal blooper reel. They’re stuck in a time loop, unable to see a future because they’re so focused on what’s behind them. They might even be dealing with nostalgic depression, according to Healthline.
14. The Productivity Plummet
Their to-do list has become a to-don’t list. That go-getter attitude has been replaced with a “maybe later” mantra. It’s a genuine struggle to find the energy or motivation to get things done. Watch for missed deadlines, half-finished projects, or that growing pile of “I’ll get to it” tasks.
15. The Future? What Future?
Ask them about their five-year plan, and you might as well be asking about their plan to colonize Mars. The future has become this big, scary void they’d rather not think about. Listen for those deflective jokes or vague non-answers when you bring up future plans.
