Have you ever been around someone who just makes your skin crawl? You know, the ones who seem to revel in making you squirm? It’s not always overt, but there are subtle signs that someone might actually enjoy making you feel uncomfortable. Here are some of the subtle signs to look out for so you can trust your gut and protect your energy.
1. They make inappropriate jokes or comments.
Sometimes it’s disguised as “humor.” They might tell off-color jokes, make sexual innuendos, or share embarrassing stories about you in public. They might laugh it off as “just kidding,” but if their “jokes” consistently make you cringe or feel uncomfortable, that’s a red flag. They might be testing your boundaries or getting a kick out of seeing you squirm.
2. They invade your personal space.
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to personal space. But if someone consistently stands too close, touches you without permission, or makes you feel physically crowded, that’s a sign they might be enjoying making you feel uneasy. Respecting personal space is a basic courtesy, and someone who disregards it might be intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable.
3. They stare at you intently.
A friendly glance is one thing, but a prolonged, unwavering stare can be unnerving, Healthline admits. It’s like they’re trying to dissect you with their eyes, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. If someone’s gaze makes you feel like a specimen under a microscope, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable and back away.
4. They ask overly personal questions.
It’s normal to share details about your life as you get to know someone, but there’s a line. If someone consistently asks invasive questions about your finances, your relationships, or your traumas, it’s a major red flag. They might be trying to dig up dirt to use against you later, or simply enjoying the power they have over you by making you disclose personal information.
5. They make you feel like you’re always wrong.
No matter what you say or do, they always find a way to criticize or undermine you. They might nitpick your appearance, belittle your achievements, or dismiss your opinions. This constant negativity can chip away at your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
6. They enjoy embarrassing you in front of other people.
Whether it’s telling an embarrassing story about you, making fun of your quirks, or putting you on the spot in social situations, they seem to get a kick out of seeing you squirm. This behavior is humiliating and can make you feel isolated and ashamed. It’s a clear sign that they don’t respect you or your feelings.
7. They’re unpredictable and volatile.
One minute they’re charming and friendly, the next they’re cold and distant. This hot-and-cold behavior keeps you on edge, constantly guessing what mood they’ll be in or how they’ll react to you. This unpredictability can be unsettling and make it difficult to feel safe or comfortable around them.
8. They dismiss or invalidate your feelings.
When you express your discomfort or try to set boundaries, they brush it off as if it’s no big deal. They might accuse you of being “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” or “making a big deal out of nothing.” This dismissal of your feelings is a way to control you and make you doubt your own perception of reality.
9. They use backhanded compliments.
These are the types of comments that sound nice on the surface, but have a hidden sting. They might say something like, “You look so pretty for someone your age” or “Wow, you’re actually pretty smart for a blonde.” These subtle insults chip away at your confidence while maintaining a veneer of politeness.
10. They constantly try to one-up you.
Sharing your achievements or good news is met with their own, often exaggerated, accomplishments. They might belittle your successes or try to make you feel like you’re not as good as them. This competitive behavior isn’t about healthy rivalry, it’s about feeding their own ego at your expense.
11. They tease you in a way that crosses the line.
A little playful teasing is one thing, but if someone’s jokes consistently make you feel bad about yourself or target your insecurities, that’s not okay. They might laugh it off as harmless fun, but if you’re the only one who isn’t laughing, it’s a sign they’re getting enjoyment from your discomfort.
12. They give you the silent treatment.
When you don’t comply with their wishes or challenge their behavior, they might go silent. They withdraw their affection and attention, leaving you feeling isolated and confused. This is a form of emotional manipulation, WebMD explains, designed to punish you and make you feel bad for not playing their game.
13. They constantly test your boundaries.
Do they keep pushing the limits, even after you’ve asked them to stop? Maybe they make inappropriate jokes, share embarrassing stories, or push you to do things you’re not comfortable with. They might see it as a challenge to see how far they can go before you finally snap.
14. They make you feel like you’re always the problem.
If a conflict arises, they twist the situation to make you feel like you’re the one to blame. They’ll gaslight you, minimize your feelings, and deflect any criticism directed at them. This can leave you feeling confused, guilty, and unsure of your own perception of reality.
15. They love it when bad stuff happens to you.
Instead of offering support when you’re going through a tough time, they seem to get a perverse satisfaction out of your struggles. They might make insensitive comments, minimize your pain, or even revel in your failures. This lack of empathy is a clear sign that their intentions are not good.
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