Some of a narcissist’s most toxic behaviors include controlling and stalking their victims. They’re most likely to do this when you enforce a no-contact policy, which inevitably leaves them feeling angry and powerless. Since they’re obsessed with controlling you, they might start tracking your every move on social media. Keep an eye out!
1. They come online whenever you’re online.
You’re minding your own business, checking out your Instagram feed, when you notice your narcissistic ex has come online. Lately, it seems like whenever you post an update for your followers, they log into the platform. It might not be your imagination playing tricks on you! They might have tweaked their notifications to alert them when you post something new so they can keep track of your updates.
2. They hint at your latest news without tagging you.
If you still follow the narcissist on social media, you might notice that they indirectly reference your online activity on their profile. Maybe they talk about Italy after seeing that you’ve gone there on vacation, or they share a news article about how to quit smoking after seeing you complain about how difficult it is to kick the habit. It’s just too much of a coincidence. They’ve clearly been checking out your updates and might be hoping that you’ll notice.
3. They start following people you know.
A narcissist won’t always stick to solely tracking you online. If they’re obsessed with you, they’re going to stalk other people in your life. If, for example, you move on from the narcissist and start dating someone new, you might notice that the narcissist starts following them. They might not be brazen enough to “like” the person’s posts, but just following them is enough of a sign that they’re desperate to keep tabs on you.
4. They “like” your old posts.
It’s a little creepy when you see in your social media notifications that the narcissist liked one of your posts from three years ago. They’ve been digging into your history and want you to know that they’ve been there, without posting a comment or asking you a question to initiate conversation. They’re just hanging around, watching you.
5. They react to your interactions with others.
As PsychCentral notes, not only does the narcissist monitor your posts and what people in your life are posting, but they also check public messages that you exchange with others. They might react to your interactions with a “like” or even by making seemingly positive comments on them. For example, when you make a new friend, the narcissist might post something about how great it is to meet new people. It’s eerie because you know they’re secretly jealous and tracking you, but they’re trying to seem like they care about you.
6. They ask you about your online activity.
If you’re still talking to the narcissist, you might find that they ask you questions about your social media posts, which is creepy because you haven’t shared the information with them directly. When you ask them about it, they might be vague or change the subject because they want to keep you guessing.
7. They send you friend requests from other accounts.
After cutting contact with a narcissist, you might find that you start receiving more friend requests from strange or fake-looking accounts on social media. It’s better to avoid these, as they could be from the narcissist you’ve deleted and blocked. They’re so desperate to see what you’re posting online that they’ll try to gain access to your profile in sneaky ways.
8. They’re being tagged in mutual friends’ posts.
To get more information about your life and make you jealous, the narcissist might try to increase the online presence they have with your mutual friends. So, you might see that they’re being tagged in pics with your mutual friends, looking like they’re having a fantastic time together. This can also be a way for them to infiltrate your social circle and get closer to you.
9. They show up at places you’ve posted about.
If you regularly post on social media about where you’re hanging out, the narcissist could be seeing that information and using it to stalk you in person. You might be eating dinner in a restaurant only to see the narcissist stroll in, or you might see them hanging out at the farmer’s market where you buy fresh produce on weekends.
10. They’ve hacked into your accounts.
It might sound extreme, but some narcissists who are desperate to monitor your activity will hack your accounts if they can. Once they get inside, they’ll change your privacy settings so that they have more access to your posts. While there, they’ll dig through your DMs so they can track your interactions with others. If you’ve just come out of a relationship with a narcissist, make sure you change all your passwords.
11. They “like” and unlike posts.
You see that the narcissist has “liked” one of your posts, but when you click on the notification, nothing shows up. Weird, right? Nope! They might be “liking” and unliking your posts and updates to mess with you and confuse you. They might also be hoping that you’ll make contact with them to ask them about it.
12. They send your friends DMs to check up on you.
A narcissist you’ve blocked on social media might show fake concern by DMing your friends to ask about you. For example, they might say that they haven’t heard from you in weeks and are worried about you. They’re not indirectly contacting you out of concern, but to try to get back into your good books.
13. They post about your relationship with them.
You might notice that the narcissist’s social media posts or comments reference something about your personal and private interactions with them. This can make you angry, and you might want to reach out to confront them about it. When you air your concerns, they’re likely to gaslight you by saying you’re “delusional” or “crazy.” Although they’ve been spreading negativity about you, they’re using this as a way to get your attention.
14. They’re watching your stories.
If you’re still connected with the narcissist on social media, you might notice that they’re always watching your stories. While at first you might not think anything negative about this, assuming they’re just curious, once you know that they’re stalking you, you’ll want to block them ASAP. You don’t want to give them any info about you that they can use against you or to infiltrate your life.
15. They post updates to make you jealous.
Narcissists try to lure you to check out their social media profiles by “liking” or commenting on your posts. When you visit their page, you might see them posting about things based on the info they’ve gathered from your accounts. For example, if you posted about how difficult it is to find someone, they might post about finding the love of their life. Or, if you posted about hating your job, they might post an update bragging about their success. They’re monitoring you and adjusting their social media presence accordingly to make you jealous.
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