We’ve all been caught in a situation where we know we’re wrong, but just can’t bring ourselves to admit it. While this isn’t exclusive to men, there are some classic phrases that seem to pop up more often when guys are backing themselves into a corner. Let’s look at some of their verbal gymnastics.
1. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”
Ah, what a classic. This phrase allows a man to argue a point without fully committing to it. It’s like saying, “I don’t actually believe this, but I’m going to argue it anyway.” It’s a way to save face while still pushing a potentially flawed argument.
2. “You’re too emotional about this.”
Oof. Hate this one. This gem is often used to deflect from the actual issue at hand. By focusing on the other person’s emotional state, the man avoids addressing his own mistake or the validity of the other person’s argument. It’s a classic move to shift the conversation away from his wrongdoing.
3. “I never said that.”
Even when faced with direct evidence, some men will flat-out deny saying something. This phrase is often accompanied by a confident tone that can make you question your own memory. According to the Newport Institute, it’s gaslighting 101, guys.
4. “You’re overreacting.”
Similar to the “too emotional” line, this phrase minimizes the other person’s feelings and concerns. It’s a way of saying, “The problem isn’t what I did, it’s how you’re reacting to it.” It’s deflection with a side of invalidation.
5. “That’s just your opinion.”
Did they steal this line from The Big Lebowski? This phrase is used to dismiss factual information by framing it as subjective. It’s a way of equalizing all viewpoints, even when one is clearly more valid or factual than the other. It’s the verbal equivalent of a shrug.
6. “I was just joking.”
The get-out-of-jail-free card for when a comment or action backfires. It’s an attempt to reframe something offensive or incorrect as humor, putting the onus on the other person for not “getting” the joke.
7. “You always do this.”
This phrase shifts the focus from the current issue to a pattern of behavior—real or imagined—in the other person. It’s a diversionary tactic that can derail the entire conversation. Hate to see it.
8. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This is the non-apology apology and it’s the worst. It sounds like he’s taking responsibility, but he’s actually just acknowledging your feelings without admitting any wrongdoing. It’s empathy without accountability.
9. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
While this can be a mature way to end a debate, it’s often used prematurely to avoid admitting a mistake. It’s a way of maintaining his stance while appearing reasonable. We can see right through it.
10. “You’re not listening to me.”
This phrase is often used when the man is repeating the same flawed argument and the other person isn’t accepting it. It’s a way of blaming the listener for his inability to make a convincing point.
11. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
When all else fails, some men will simply try to shut down the conversation. It’s the conversational equivalent of taking your ball and going home when you’re losing the game.
12. “You always have to be right, don’t you?”
According to Healthline, this kind of comment is a classic case of projection. By accusing the other person of always needing to be right, he’s deflecting from his own inability to admit he’s wrong.
13. “That’s not what I meant.”
This phrase is often used when a man realizes his statement isn’t going over well. Instead of admitting he misspoke or was wrong, he tries to retroactively change the meaning of what he said. Pfft, revisionist history.
14. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Another minimizing tactic, this phrase attempts to trivialize the issue at hand. It’s a way of saying, “The problem isn’t my actions, it’s your perception of them.”
15. “I was just trying to help.”
This phrase is often used when unsolicited advice or actions backfire. It’s a way of painting himself as well-intentioned, even if the impact of his actions really sucked.
