Dating is really disheartening sometimes. You keep meeting the same annoying or arrogant people and it makes you want to buy an island and live a solitary life with furbabies. That sounds dreamy! If you’ve experienced any of these 15 things men do, you’re going to want to swear off finding The One for good.
1. Having poor hygiene
It’s so frustrating when a guy neglects personal cleanliness and acts like it’s no biggie. It’s a deal-breaker! Maybe he rocks up to dates with sweaty, matted hair and brags about coming straight from a vigorous football match with his friends. Gross. Or, he doesn’t brush his teeth before leaning in for a kiss. Ugh, there’s no excuse for a guy not to keep himself clean. He should be making an effort for you.
2. Being chronically late
Another thing some guys think is no big deal is arriving late to dates without having the decency to text you ahead of time. You plan your day around them, then sit and waste precious minutes or hours, thinking of all the more productive things you could’ve been doing with your time. It’s so rude and disrespectful when guys are late, and it can be a warning of more selfish behavior to follow. Not here for that.
3. Sending one-word texts
You try to make the texts you send to guys you’re dating engaging and interesting so they want to talk to you. What do you get in return? Annoying one-word answers like “cool” or “okay.” If you wanted to chat with a child, you’d spend more time with your nephews and nieces. Whatever happened to having a conversation? Oh, and it doesn’t cut it if the guy claims to “hate texting.” What a cop-out!
4. Taking you for granted
Relationships are supposed to be about appreciation and compromise, right? Tell that to the guy who acts as though he’s entitled to all your good deeds and acts of service. If someone doesn’t show you that they value you, they might as well just outright say that they’re not interested in what you have to offer. That would be better than letting you waste time trying to show them what you bring to the table. It’s so much effort and you get zilch in return.
5. Not listening to you
Is it so hard to listen? Seriously, with all the information available online on how people can improve their active listening skills, there’s no excuse for a guy you’re on a date with to zone out when you’re talking. These guys only care about the sound of their voices and aren’t interested in engaging with you to create a solid connection. Next!
6. Being a man-child
Sometimes dating feels like babysitting a child instead of connecting with a grown man. Some guys lack maturity and it shows in how they blame you for their mistakes or try to avoid their responsibilities. They might lack self-awareness or throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way. Enough is enough! You don’t need to be anyone’s sitter, especially if you’re not getting paid for it.
7. Exhibiting controlling tendencies
Being stuck with a possessive partner makes you feel trapped in a relationship, and like your autonomy is destroyed. It creates a lack of trust and causes emotional strain that you don’t need. If you wanted stress and anxiety, you’d get a root canal at the dentist or choose a job you hate, not seek out a new relationship. Besides, you know your worth and don’t need to have it broken down by someone who’s got their own issues. They need a therapist, not a romantic partner.
8. Having road rage
When the guy you’re with acts like a nutcase on the road, it’s enough to make you want to jump out of the car at the next traffic light. Engaging in road rage might make the guy feel macho (ick) but it’s stressful to witness while putting your safety in danger. In addition, it displays a lack of patience and emotional regulation in the guy, which are instant turn-offs.
9. Not asking for directions (or help in general)
Some guys are terrified of showing any vulnerability, which causes them to struggle to ask for help. Being with them is frustrating because it means you have to try to read their mind (who’s got time for that?). It makes them come across like they feel they’re superior to others, almost like asking for support is beneath them. If you have to sit by and watch your partner struggle because he’s too arrogant to ask for help, you’re going to want to scream.
10. Constantly interrupting you
Unless there’s a fire in the restaurant where you’re having dinner, the guy you’re on a date with shouldn’t interrupt you. If he keeps doing this, he’s trying to dominate the conversation. Being around this guy is going to make you feel like your confidence is always being undermined and your feelings invalidated because he’s so self-absorbed and hungry for attention. Ugh.
11. Dishing out unsolicited advice
Some guys want to tell you what to do when you open up to them about your problems. It’s so insulting because they’re mansplaining and treating you like you’re a child, instead of an independent, strong person. Why is it so hard for them to grasp that you don’t want them to solve your problems but just to listen and empathize with what you’re saying?
12. Being chronically negative
If a guy fixates on the negative aspects of every situation, they’re going to drain you with their constant complaining and whining. If you try to point out the positive side of things, they’ll shoot you down with 100 reasons why it won’t work. Yikes. After spending some time in their sunless, miserable bubble, you’ll realize you need so much more than this. Some island sun would be nice—with a tequila in hand… and this guy nowhere to be found.
13. Giving backhanded compliments
Someone who dishes you backhanded compliments is trying to undermine your confidence and belittle you. Enter the guy who seems confident but is super insecure. He might tell you, “Your dress is pretty—it’s better than what you usually wear” or “Well done for achieving your goal—you surprised me with your ambition.” These are insults disguised as compliments to make you feel unworthy. A guy who brings you down is trying to prevent you from outshining him. Shame, he can’t handle your amazingness.
14. Calling their exes “crazy”
When you ask the guy you’re dating about his previous relationships, he might make it seem like all his exes were irrational or too demanding. Enough is enough! Some guys do this because they want to appear superior to their exes or because they have unresolved issues with them. Whatever the case, it shows that they haven’t learned from their experiences and aren’t “man enough” to own up to their mistakes. Check, please!
15. Extreme clinginess
Although you want to be with a guy who’s sensitive and shows you affection, it’s not fun to be around a stage-five clinger. They might text or call multiple times a day when you’re busy with other stuff, or depend on you to make all their decisions for them. A clingy guy can make you feel claustrophobic and like they don’t have what it takes to stand on their feet, expecting you to be like a mother figure to them. Run!
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