The thing about narcissists is that they’re gonna lie. According to Psychology Today, they pretty much live and die by their own truth. That’s why they have a whole arsenal of lies they use to protect their fragile egos and stay on that high pedestal they’ve created for themselves. So, grab your BS detector, and let’s unmask the most common lies narcissists tell.
1. “I’m just being honest.”
This is the narcissist’s favorite way to disguise their cruel comments as “truth-telling.” In reality, it’s just an excuse to be mean without consequences. They’re not being honest; they’re being hurtful and trying to pass it off as a nice trait. They’ve clearly confused “honesty” with “saying every mean thought that pops into their head.”
2. “I’m not like other people.”
Narcissists love to paint themselves as the most special person in the room. They do this so they can justify their behavior—they think by claiming they’re unique, they get to be above normal social rules or expectations. Not cool.
3. “You’re so lucky to have me.”
Eye roll. So what, you’re supposed to feel grateful for their presence in your life, even when they’re treating you poorly? No thanks. They’re trying to convince you that the crappy treatment is the top of the line—like saying that burnt toast is a gourmet meal and you should be thankful for it.
4. “I did it for you.”
They’ll claim their selfish actions were actually for your benefit. Oh, they lied just so you wouldn’t get upset? Get real. They’re trying to avoid criticism and painting themselves as the hero when really they’re the villain.
5. “You’re too sensitive.”
According to Simply Psychology, this is a classic gaslighting technique. When you call them out on their bad behavior, they flip the script and make it your fault for being “oversensitive.” It’s their get-out-of-jail-free card for any hurtful action. Remember, you’re not too sensitive; they’re just being insensitive.
6. “I never said that.”
Welcome to the revisionist history class! They’ll deny saying things you clearly remember, making you question your own sanity. Whatever truth doesn’t serve them in the moment, gets conveniently “erased” from their memories. But trust yourself, you know what you’re talking about.
7. “You made me do it.”
Accountability? Never heard of her. Narcissists are experts at shifting blame. If they behave badly, it’s because you “provoked” them. If they get mad, it’s because you hurt their feelings. They always try to throw the responsibility onto you instead of taking ownership of their actions.
8. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This is the narcissist’s version of an apology, which—funny enough—isn’t actually an apology at all. But if you do one thing, it’s remembering this: they’re sorry you’re upset, not sorry for what they did.
9. “You’re crazy/unstable/mentally ill.”
When all else fails, they attack your mental health! What a lie—it’s designed to make you doubt yourself and your perceptions. And it kills two birds with one stone for the narcissist: they get to avoid responsibility and undermine your credibility all at once.
10. “I’m the victim here.”
If narcissists love anything in this world (more than themselves) it’s playing the victim card. Even when they’re clearly the aggressor, they’ll twist any situation to make themselves look like the wronged party. Give them an Oscar because they are putting on an A+ performance.
11. “You owe me.”
Narcissists love creating a sense of obligation towards them. They’ll exaggerate or invent things they’ve done for you to keep you indebted to them. Meanwhile, the only thing you’ve gotten out of the relationship is them bashing away at your self-confidence. You don’t owe them anything.
12. “I’m just trying to help you.”
Their unsolicited advice and criticism are repackaged as “help.” In reality, it’s just another way to exert control and make you second guess your abilities and competence. Don’t let them lie their way to taking control, you know what you’re doing.
13. “You’re the only one who thinks that.”
Ever been around a narcissist who claims that no one else has a problem with their behavior? That you’re the odd one out and you’re judgment is off since you’re alone in this belief? Spoiler alert: You’re probably not the only one who’s noticed their narcissistic tendencies.
14. “I’ve changed.”
The narcissist’s version of change is usually just a temporary behavior modification to get what they want. Once they’ve reeled you back in, it’s business as usual. It’s like they’re putting on a “good behavior” costume that comes off as soon as the party’s over.
15. “No one else would put up with you.”
Oof this one cuts deep. They say this to lower your self-esteem and make you feel dependent on them. Rude—they try to keep you under their wrath by making you believe you’re lucky they tolerate you. In reality, it’s more likely that no one else would put up with their behavior.
