It might feel like an impossible mission to find an empathetic man who really sees what’s in your heart and respects your feelings, so when you find one, you want to hold onto him! Make sure you spot him by looking for these 15 traits and behaviors.
1. They ask how your day was, and care about the answer.
Instead of asking how your day was so that they can quickly tell you about theirs, they’ll ask you and wait to hear what you have to say. They’ll give you a chance to spill about what happened on the way to work or how lunch was with your friend, totally tuned into what you’re saying. They don’t rush you through your story so that they can start talking, either. They’re all ears!
2. They ask you follow-up questions.
Sure, they need the general gist of what’s going on, but empathetic men ask follow-up questions to show that they’re really invested in what you have to say and want to understand the nuances of the situation. This keeps the conversation going and makes you feel like you’re having a deep, meaningful chat. It also helps if you want them to give you some objective advice!
3. They let you vent on a bad day.
Instead of brushing away your bad feelings or experiences, an empathetic man will give you the chance to vent for however long you want about your horrid day. No sarcastic eye-rolls or “chill, babe” responses that only serve to make you madder. They’re big on emotional validation, and they never make you feel guilty or weird for your feelings.
4. They hold back instead of trying to fix things.
While some men might try to jump in and solve your problems, which becomes annoying really quickly, empathetic men will respect your desire to vent or solve your own issues. However, they always make sure you know that they’re there to offer you some feedback when and if you decide you want it.
5. They can see when something’s wrong before you say anything.
The great thing about being around an empathetic man is that he notices you without you having to speak. So, he’ll spot the signs that you’ve been crying or are mad before you spill the beans on your feelings. Empathetic men are about as close as it comes to being mind-readers!
6. They imagine what your situation is like.
Empathetic men are in tune with their emotions, so they’re willing and able to picture what other people are going through and how they feel. This helps them to better understand other people, while keeping them open-minded. They can truly put themselves in your shoes, which makes you feel a lot less alone.
7. They notice non-verbal cues.
Instead of just focusing on what you’re saying, empathetic men will pay as much attention to the things you don’t say. So, they’ll notice body language cues, such as your posture, eye contact, and how your hands are placed on the table, to get a fuller picture of your emotional state.
8. They give really good advice.
Is there anything worse than a man starting a sentence with, “Here’s what you need to do…”? No, it sucks. A guy with empathy won’t do that. He’ll only give you advice if you ask him for it, and when he does, it tends to be really helpful and proactive. This is because he’s taken the time to listen to you, empathize with you, and think about the situation instead of giving knee-jerk suggestions that don’t really apply.
9. They don’t become defensive.
Some guys might show signs of being defensive when you express what’s on your mind and they don’t like it, such as if you’re confronting them about something they did to hurt you. An empathetic man will let you have the space in which to express yourself, even if he feels stressed or frustrated. He acknowledges and respects your opinions.
10. They’re curious.
One of the biggest signs that a man is empathetic is when he’s curious about people and the world around him. He wants to understand the feelings and thoughts others have, which is known as empathic curiosity. This makes it easier for you to bond with him.
11. They say “we” instead of “me.”
When a guy starts to speak about the future in terms of what you’re both going to do, it’s not just a sign that he’s focused on your long-term relationship goals. It also shows that he’s empathetic because he’s bringing you into his life instead of seeing the world only through his eyes.
12. They think ahead about you.
Being around an empathetic man makes you feel seen, but it can also make you feel cared for in the future. Let me explain. He’ll think ahead to ensure that you’re comfortable and happy, such as by choosing a restaurant table outside if he knows you want to be in the sun, or by remembering that you can’t eat kiwis. Your well-being matters to him, so he’ll make it a priority.
13. They’re patient during conversations.
Empathetic men know the value of listening more than they talk, which is one of the things that makes them such good communicators. They’re patient, waiting for others to express themselves, instead of interrupting them or trying to dominate conversations.
14. They apologize first.
Since they’re in tune with other people’s feelings, men with high levels of empathy don’t fear saying they’re sorry. They won’t punish their partners by waiting for them to apologize first, especially if they know they were wrong. They keep their eye on the bigger picture, trying to maintain the peace of their relationship.
15. They remember to say “thank you.”
Dealing with a man who has empathy is refreshing because he won’t take you for granted. He always says “thank you” when you do something nice for him because he wants you to know you’re valued. He can put himself in your shoes and therefore knows the gratitude you need to feel appreciated.
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