Some things guys do have a knack for making women run for the hills. This isn’t about pointing fingers, but rather recognizing habits that might be sabotaging your dating life. We all have areas to improve on, and acknowledging them is the first step towards becoming a better partner and person. Here are some of the behaviors that make us consider adopting 50 cats and becoming hermits for life.
1. Negging as a form of flirting
As Forbes explains, this tactic involves backhanded compliments or subtle insults disguised as jokes. The idea is to lower a woman’s self-esteem to make her more receptive to your advances. Newsflash: it doesn’t work. It just makes you seem insecure and manipulative. Genuine compliments and good humor are always a better way to go.
2. Ghosting instead of communicating
Whether it’s after a first date, a few weeks of dating, or even a long-term relationship, disappearing without a word is never okay. It’s disrespectful and leaves the other person feeling confused and hurt. If you’re not interested, be upfront and honest. A simple message is all it takes to avoid unnecessary drama.
3. Love bombing and then withdrawing
Showering someone with affection, gifts, and attention early on can be exhilarating, but if it’s followed by a sudden withdrawal of affection, it’s a major red flag. This pattern of hot and cold behavior is a manipulation tactic designed to keep someone hooked and off-balance. Consistent affection and communication are the foundations of a healthy relationship.
4. Ignoring boundaries and personal space
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical touch, personal space, and sharing information. Ignoring those boundaries is disrespectful and can feel violating. Always ask for consent before making a move, and respect someone’s wishes if they say “no.” A good partner will make you feel safe and comfortable, not pressured or violated.
5. Making everything a competition
Trying to one-up someone’s accomplishments, stories, or experiences is exhausting. It creates a toxic dynamic where the focus is on winning rather than connecting. A supportive partner celebrates your successes and is happy for you, not threatened by them.
6. Refusing to take responsibility for your actions
Blaming others for your mistakes, deflecting criticism, and making excuses are not attractive qualities. Everyone messes up from time to time, but owning up to your mistakes and learning from them shows maturity and accountability. It builds trust and respect in a relationship.
7. Constantly interrupting and talking over women
Everyone deserves to be heard and respected in a conversation. Talking over someone or dismissing their opinions shows a lack of respect and consideration. A good partner listens actively and values your input, even if they don’t agree with everything you say.
8. Making jokes at someone’s expense to get a laugh
Humor is great, but not when it comes at the cost of someone else’s feelings. Teasing that feels mean-spirited or belittling is never funny. It creates an uncomfortable atmosphere and can damage someone’s self-esteem. A good partner makes you laugh without making you feel bad about yourself.
9. Being overly possessive and jealous
A little jealousy is natural, but constant suspicion, accusations, and attempts to control someone’s behavior are suffocating. Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache.
10. Refusing to put in effort to maintain the relationship
Relationships take work. They require both partners to be willing to compromise, communicate, and put in the effort to keep the spark alive. If you expect the other person to do all the heavy lifting, you’re not demonstrating a genuine commitment to the relationship. Love is a two-way street, and both parties need to be invested in its success.
11. Constantly comparing your current partner to your exes
Talking about your exes excessively or comparing your current partner to them is a major turn-off. It makes the other person feel insecure and like they’re not good enough. Focus on the present relationship and appreciate your partner for who they are, not who they aren’t.
12. Not being supportive of your partner’s goals and dreams
A good partner is your biggest cheerleader — and studies have shown just how big of an effect it can have on your relationships. They encourage you to pursue your passions and support your ambitions. If you belittle someone’s dreams, make them feel guilty for pursuing them, or try to hold them back, you’re not being a good partner. Healthy relationships are built on mutual support and encouragement.
13. Being dishonest and playing mind games
Lying, manipulating, and playing games to get what you want are not the foundations of a healthy relationship. Honesty and transparency are crucial for building trust. If you’re constantly trying to trick or deceive your partner, you’re creating a toxic dynamic that will inevitably lead to problems.
14. Being disrespectful towards service staff or people in “lower” positions
How you treat others is a reflection of your character. If you’re rude, condescending, or demeaning to waiters, store clerks, or anyone else you deem “below” you, it’s a major red flag. A good partner treats everyone with respect and kindness, regardless of their social status or occupation.
15. Ignoring your partner’s needs and prioritizing your own
Relationships are about compromise and finding a balance between your needs and your partner’s. If you consistently prioritize your own desires without considering the other person’s feelings, you’re creating an imbalance that can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. A good partner is attentive, considerate, and willing to put in the effort to meet their partner’s needs.
