Have you ever had a friend, partner, or coworker who set off your internal alarm bells? That uneasy feeling isn’t paranoia – it’s your intuition spotting red flags. Here’s how to identify untrustworthy people and their sneaky behaviors before they manipulate or burn you
1. They Make Intense Eye Contact
Although, according to Psych Central, eye contact is healthy, if someone makes intense eye contact that feels uncomfortable, that’s a red flag. It also could be a sign that they’re overcompensating for not being trustworthy. They know eye contact is important, so they’ll overdo it to gain your trust.
2. They’re Fidgety and Distracted
When you talk to this person, they can’t seem to sit still. They start filling the kettle to make tea, folding their laundry, checking their social media, or staring off into space. According to Psych Central, fidgeting and not paying attention are both signs of lying.
3. They Distract You to Create Distance
Someone who doesn’t want to get real with you might try to distract you from things they don’t want you to see about them. So, they might make jokes when you speak about something serious or compliment you to change the subject.
4. They Lure You in With Fake Openness
Someone who opens up to you as soon as you start getting to know them is a red flag. Sure, you might feel like you have a fantastic connection, but it could be that they’re trying to build a fake relationship to manipulate you.
5. They Move Too Fast to Get to Know You
Another red flag? They move really fast. For instance, they want to be official within a week of dating and lock down a relationship with you. Or, if it’s a friend, they’ll always want to see you and over-commit to plans. They might call you their bestie right away. It’s too much too soon.
6. They Don’t Apologize, Ever
If someone can’t apologize for bad things they’ve done, this is a sign that you can’t trust them. You want to surround yourself with people who take responsibility for their actions and can be man or woman enough to own their issues.
7. They Gossip About Others to You
If this person is always putting others down or gossiping about them, that’s a flag. They might be trying to make you think that you’ve got a special bond, which is why they’re sharing all these tidbits with you. But the connection’s not real—they’re just showing you that they’re manipulative, and you can’t trust them with your secrets.
8. They Question Your Trust
Someone who isn’t trustworthy might try to project their insecurities or bad behavior onto you. So, they’ll question if you’re trustworthy or being a real friend. That’s a huge red flag. Ditto for someone who tells you they’re afraid you’ll hurt them. Yup, they’ll be the ones to hurt you, no doubt.
9. They Don’t Show Guilt or Remorse
Watch the person to see how they display guilt. If they’ve hurt someone, do they laugh it off or shrug like it’s no big deal? That’s a sign that they don’t feel any remorse, and they’re just not kind.
10. They Make Snide Comments
If the person slips a few snide comments into the conversation, don’t let them slide. They might say, “Wow, your hair looks like you’ve been caught in a storm,” or “Did you steal those shoes from the 1950s?” These types of comments show that the person is critical and judgy, which will keep bringing you down.
11. They Shower You With Compliments
On the other hand, someone who can’t be trusted might always try to praise and compliment you. It’s a bit much and could make you feel uncomfortable, especially if they’ve just met you. They’re trying hard to get you on their side, and it’s manipulative.
12. They Don’t Deliver on Their Promises
Someone who makes and breaks promises shows you they’re untrustworthy because you can’t rely on them. So, even though they’re super-apologetic when they don’t follow through on commitments, you should guard your heart.
13. They Keep the Conversation About You
It’s great when someone wants t to talk about you all night, but they should at least want to share something about themselves. If not, they could be giving you the spotlight so they can hide in the shadows.
14. They Keep Things Vague
If someone is vague about things, using phrases such as “not sure” or “maybe” all the time, this should ring some alarm bells. They don’t want to give you a clear answer, or they don’t want to commit to anything, which signals that they’re not reliable. They’re keeping themselves emotionally distant.
15. Their Actions Don’t Match Their Claims
Someone who lies will lack consistency and harmony in their words and actions. For example, they might say they’re kind and empathetic to others, but their actions will suggest otherwise. Or, they might talk about their big dreams but veg on the couch all day. Forget what they say and focus on their actions – that will show you who they really are.
