We’ve all been there—sitting in a meeting, giving a presentation, or just trying to do our jobs when suddenly a male colleague feels compelled to explain our own expertise back to us. Whether it’s the tech bro explaining coding to a female software architect or the guy at the gym explaining workout form to a personal trainer, mansplaining has become so common that certain phrases immediately set off our internal alarm bells. Here’s a collection of the most cringe-worthy phrases that signal you’re about to get an unwanted lesson in something you probably already mastered years ago.
1. “Well, Actually…”
The classic opener that signals a man is about to explain something you already know. It’s usually delivered with that special kind of condescending confidence reserved for explaining basic concepts to experts. The phrase almost always precedes an oversimplified explanation of something within your field of expertise. What’s especially infuriating is how often it’s used to “correct” something that wasn’t even wrong in the first place. The “well, actually” guy somehow always assumes you’ve never encountered this information in your entire professional life.
2. “Let Me Break This Down For You.”
As if you’re a child who needs complex ideas reduced to their simplest form. This phrase usually comes with a slow-down in speech pattern and excessive hand gestures, like they’re explaining quantum physics to a golden retriever. It’s particularly rich when used to explain concepts directly related to your job or degree. The real kicker? Often what follows is a completely incorrect explanation of something you could teach a masterclass in.
3. “Not To Be Sexist, But…”
The verbal equivalent of a warning label that what’s about to follow is definitely going to be sexist. This phrase is like a diving bell for men who want to sink to new depths of condescension. It’s usually followed by some sweeping generalization about women’s capabilities or interests. The speaker somehow believes this disclaimer magically makes their sexist statement acceptable. It’s the conversational equivalent of thinking an umbrella will protect you from a tsunami.
4. “In Simple Terms…”
The preface to an oversimplified explanation that actually makes things less clear than they were before. This phrase usually signals that they’re about to butcher a complex topic you understand perfectly well. It’s especially amusing when they use this to introduce an explanation that’s both condescending and incorrect. The simplification often reveals their own limited understanding of the topic.
5. “You Should Smile More When You…”
Professional advice that somehow always focuses on your demeanor rather than your actual work. This phrase usually introduces suggestions about how you could make others more comfortable while they discount your expertise. It’s particularly special when used to critique your presentation style during technical discussions. The speaker seems oblivious to the fact that male colleagues are never given this same “helpful” advice.
6. “You’d Understand This Better If…”
The implication is that your failure to agree with them must mean you don’t understand, not that you have a different (and often more informed) perspective. This phrase usually comes with a hefty dose of unsolicited advice about how you should approach your own expertise. They’ll generously offer to “mentor” you in a field where you’re already established. Sometimes they’ll even suggest you read the very papers you wrote or cite your own research to you.
7. “I’m Just Playing Devil’s Advocate…”
The battle cry of someone about to say something inflammatory while trying to dodge accountability. This phrase is like a protective shield for men who want to argue against women’s lived experiences without consequences. They present themselves as intellectual champions of debate while really just being contrarian for the sake of it. It’s particularly special when used to challenge well-documented facts about women’s experiences in the workplace or society.
8. “No Offense, But…”
The conversational equivalent of a warning siren that something offensive is incoming. This phrase typically precedes a man explaining why your feelings about something are wrong or irrational. It’s often used as a preface to dismiss your professional accomplishments or minimize your expertise. The speaker somehow believes this magical phrase grants them immunity from the consequences of their words. The irony is that they’re usually very offended when you point out their mistake.
9. “I Think What You’re Trying to Say Is…”
The classic move of interrupting you mid-sentence to explain your own thoughts back to you incorrectly. This phrase usually comes with the added bonus of completely misinterpreting or oversimplifying your point. It’s especially frustrating when they proceed to explain your own idea back to you as if it’s their original thought. Sometimes they’ll even argue with you about what you actually meant to say.
10. “Let Me Give You Some Feedback…”
Unsolicited criticism disguised as helpful advice, usually about something entirely outside their expertise. This phrase often introduces a man explaining how you could do your job better, despite having no experience in your field. They’ll confidently suggest “improvements” that would actually make things worse or are impossible to implement. The real kicker is when they get defensive if you don’t immediately praise their “helpful” suggestions.
11. “You’re Being Too Emotional About This…”
The go-to phrase for dismissing valid concerns or passionate expertise as mere feminine hysteria. This classic gaslighting tactic suggests that your professional opinion is somehow less valid because you care about the topic. It’s particularly rich when used during discussions where a male colleague is actually the one getting visibly upset. The phrase manages to simultaneously dismiss your expertise and reinforce outdated gender stereotypes.
12. “What You Don’t Realize Is…”
The opening line to explain something you’ve likely known since kindergarten. This phrase assumes you’ve somehow reached your professional position without understanding basic concepts in your field. It’s often followed by an explanation that reveals their own fundamental misunderstanding of the topic. The speaker seems genuinely surprised when you demonstrate knowledge that exceeds their basic explanation.
13. “I Don’t Mean to Interrupt, But…”
They absolutely mean to interrupt, and they’re about to do it spectacularly. This phrase serves as a warning that they’re about to derail your train of thought to insert their opinion. It’s particularly frustrating when used to cut off your expertise to share their novice understanding. The interruption usually leads to explaining something you were about to explain yourself, just less accurately.
14. “Let Me Tell You How This Works…”
This phrase usually precedes a man confidently explaining something you do every day, often getting key details wrong. It’s especially rich when they try to explain processes you helped develop or systems you actually designed. The real entertainment comes when they argue with you about how your own procedures work.
15. “I’m Just Trying to Help…”
The defensive response when called out for unnecessary explaining is usually delivered with wounded pride. This phrase attempts to paint their condescension as generosity and your irritation as ingratitude. It’s often used after they’ve ignored clear signals that their “help” isn’t needed or wanted. The speaker genuinely seems confused about why explaining your own job to you isn’t being received as a precious gift.
