We all have those days where we feel a little less than confident, but for some people, this feeling can be persistent and overwhelming. If you know someone struggling with low self-esteem, there are small but meaningful ways you can offer support and encouragement. It’s about creating a safe space where they feel seen, heard, and valued. Here are 14 ways to help someone who lacks confidence.
1. Be patient and understanding.
Building confidence takes time, and it’s important to respect that. Don’t rush them or try to fix everything at once. Instead, offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Let them know you’re there for them, without judgment or pressure. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares can make all the difference.
2. Offer genuine compliments and encouragement.
When someone lacks confidence, they might focus on their perceived flaws and shortcomings. You can help shift their perspective by pointing out their strengths and accomplishments. Offer specific compliments that highlight their talents and efforts. But remember, be genuine! Insincere compliments can backfire and make them feel even worse.
3. Celebrate their small victories.
Every step towards building confidence is worth celebrating. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying something new, or overcoming a fear, acknowledge their progress and cheer them on. Celebrating small victories helps them recognize their own capabilities and build momentum toward bigger goals.
4. Encourage them to try new things.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a powerful way to build confidence—encourage them to explore new hobbies, take classes, or join social groups where they can meet new people and develop new skills. Trying new things helps them discover hidden talents and realize they’re capable of so much more than they thought.
5. Help them challenge negative self-talk.
People with low confidence often have a harsh inner critic who constantly puts them down. Help them identify and challenge negative self-talk by asking questions like, “Is that really true?” or “Would you say that to a friend?” Remember to encourage them to replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. It’s a gradual process, but with your support, they can learn to silence their inner critic.
6. Remind them of their past achievements.
Sometimes, people forget how far they’ve come and focus only on their perceived failures. Help them remember their past successes and accomplishments and talk about the challenges they’ve overcome and the goals they’ve achieved. Remind them of their resilience and strength, and how they’ve overcome obstacles in the past. This can help them regain confidence and believe in themselves again.
7. Encourage them to set realistic goals.
Setting and achieving goals can be a powerful confidence booster. Help the person set realistic goals that are challenging but achievable. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone along the way, and remind them that progress is more important than perfection. When they see that they can accomplish what they set out to do, their confidence will naturally grow.
8. Avoid comparisons and competition.
Comparing to others can be incredibly damaging to someone’s confidence. Avoid making comparisons or encouraging them to compete with others. Instead, focus on their individual strengths and progress. Remind them that everyone is on their own journey and that there’s no need to measure themselves against anyone else. Celebrate their uniqueness and encourage them to embrace their individuality.
9. Be a good listener.
Sometimes, all someone needs is a safe space to vent their frustrations and insecurities. Listen to them without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. Validate their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. Sometimes, just having someone to listen can help them process their emotions and gain a new perspective on their situation.
10. Help them identify their support system.
Remind them of the people who care about them and want to see them succeed. Gently push them to reach out to friends, family, mentors, or therapists for support. Having a strong support system can provide a much-needed boost in confidence and help them through challenging times. Remind them that they’re not alone and that there are people who believe in them.
11. Share your own struggles with confidence.
Opening up about your own experiences with self-doubt can help them feel less alone and more understood. Share stories of times when you’ve lacked confidence and how you’ve overcome those challenges. Be vulnerable and authentic, and let them know that everyone struggles at times. This can help them normalize their feelings and realize they’re not the only ones who feel this way.
12. Focus on their effort, not just the outcome.
Sometimes, people with low confidence get discouraged when they don’t achieve the results they want. Remind them that effort and progress are more important than the outcome. Celebrate their hard work and dedication, even if they don’t always succeed, and shift their focus to the learning process and the steps they’re taking to improve. This can help them develop a growth mindset and build resilience in the face of setbacks.
13. Help them practice self-care.
Taking care of their physical and mental health—like eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring them joy—can have a significant impact on their confidence. Help them find healthy ways to manage stress, such as meditation, yoga, or spending time in nature. Taking care of themselves will help them feel better as a whole, which can boost their self-esteem.
14. Be patient and persistent in your support.
Building confidence is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and unwavering support. Be patient with them, even if they have setbacks or slip back into negative self-talk. Remind them that you believe in them and that you’re there for them every step of the way. Your consistent encouragement and support can make a world of difference in their journey toward self-acceptance and confidence.
