Growing up under a constant barrage of criticism is challenging. Those who’ve weathered this storm often develop a unique set of traits, some of which help them succeed and others that may be holding them back. Let’s take a closer look at the characteristics common among people who faced critics early on.
1. They’re often more compassionate than they realize
Despite (or perhaps because of) their harsh upbringing, many develop deep wells of compassion for others’ struggles. They understand the pain and are often the first to offer support to others, even if they struggle to extend the same kindness to themselves. It’s as if their experiences have given them a superpower to see through others’ masks and offer support.
2. They’re successful with a side of impostor syndrome
The drive to prove their worth brings them to some amazing accomplishments, but the accompanying impostor syndrome can be crippling. According to Verywell Mind, they might achieve impressive feats while constantly feeling like a fraud about to be exposed. It’s debilitating and a direct effect of being criticized as a young one.
3. Conflict avoidance is second nature to them
Having associated disagreement with criticism, they often go to great lengths to avoid conflict. This can make them excellent peacekeepers but might also prevent them from standing up for themselves. They’re constantly walking on eggshells, even when there’s no need to, and it’s exhausting.
4. They have a weird relationship with authority
Depending on how they’ve processed their experiences, they might either rebel against authority or try to align themselves with it. This can manifest as anti-establishment tendencies or a strong desire to please those in power. Authority figures are either potential allies or threats, with no middle ground.
5. Self-criticism is their self-talk
The critical voices from childhood often become internalized, creating a harsh inner critic. Sure, this can drive them to improve in some cases. But most of the time, it can lead to debilitating self-doubt. They’re carrying around opinions that aren’t even their own—these ideas have become enmeshed in their subconscious due to the constant criticism in childhood.
6. They’re amazing at detecting lies
Years of navigating criticism have honed their ability to read between the lines. They can spot insincerity from a mile away and have an almost supernatural ability to detect when someone’s words don’t match their true intentions. They’ve developed an internal nonsense meter and it’s calibrated perfectly.
7. They’re masters of the preemptive strike
Having learned to anticipate criticism, they often point out their own flaws before anyone else can. This self-deprecating behavior is both a defense mechanism and a way to beat critics to the punch. They’re always a few moves ahead—after all, if they do the criticizing, it leaves less room for others to do the same.
8. They’re hyper-aware of others’ reactions
Years of scanning for signs of disapproval have left them acutely attuned to micro-expressions and subtle shifts in tone. This sensitivity can make them incredibly empathetic, which is a wonderful trait. But on the flip side? This can also lead to over-interpretation of social cues.
9. Decision-making is an uphill battle
According to Psychology Today, the fear of making the “wrong” choice and inviting criticism can make decision-making a paralyzing process. They might overthink even small decisions, weighing every possible outcome. They’re constantly preparing for whatever criticism could come up and thinking of how to defend their choices.
10. They’re drawn to helping professions
Understanding the pain of criticism often creates deep empathy for others’ struggles. Many are drawn to fields where they can support and uplift others, perhaps providing the understanding they wished for in childhood. They’re on a mission to be the change they needed when they were younger.
11. They struggle with receiving compliments
Praise can feel foreign and uncomfortable. They might deflect compliments or immediately counterbalance them with self-criticism. Put simply: compliments are written in a language they never quite learned to understand.
12. They’re excellent problem-solvers
The constant pressure to avoid criticism often hones their problem-solving skills. They become adept at anticipating issues and finding creative solutions. They’ve been training for this mental gymnastics their whole lives, and now they can navigate complex problems with ease.
13. Perfectionism is their frenemy
The constant push for perfection during childhood evolves into a double-edged sword in adulthood. On one hand, their work is top-notch. On the other, they struggle, fearing that anything less than perfect isn’t worth doing.
