You know the friend who blows up your phone the minute they’re by themselves, or suddenly wants to hang out when their plans fall through? The thing is, most people who struggle with being alone don’t even realize they’re doing it. Let’s dive into some behaviors that scream “I can’t handle being alone!” Trust me, you’re either going to recognize someone you know in this list or (plot twist!) you might just see a bit of yourself.
1. They excessively text or call people
People uncomfortable with being alone often engage in excessive communication, even when there’s little to say. They might send texts to multiple friends or make frequent, unnecessary phone calls. It’s not that they have urgent news to share, it’s a way to maintain a constant connection and stave off feelings of loneliness. Each message or call serves as a temporary relief from the discomfort of being alone with their thoughts.
2. They overdo it on social media
When alone, these people flood their social media feeds with updates, photos, and check-ins. Each post is a cry for interaction, hoping to reel in a response, a like, or any form of acknowledgment. This digital extroversion is a way of creating the illusion of being around people, even when physically alone. The constant need for virtual validation becomes a substitute for real-world interactions and is unhealthy.
3. They spend a lot of time daydreaming
While daydreaming is normal, people who can’t handle being alone might fantasize as a way to escape. Maybe they create elaborate scenarios in their mind, imagining social interactions or relationships. Imagination can definitely be positive, but this level of fantasizing can prevent the person from addressing their discomfort with solitude or taking steps to build real connections.
4. They impulse shop or online browse
This isn’t really about needing new shoes or wanting the latest trend, it’s about filling a void and creating a temporary connection to the outside world. The act of purchasing or even just window shopping online provides a brief dopamine hit, momentarily alleviating the discomfort of being alone. However, this can lead to financial issues and a cycle of temporary relief followed by increased anxiety.
5. They overcommit themselves
These individuals tend to pack their schedules with social engagements, often overcommitting themselves. They might agree to plans they don’t even enjoy, just to avoid being alone. The fear of an empty calendar drives them to fill every spare moment with social interactions, often leading to burnout and a neglect of personal needs and responsibilities.
6. They avoid any single-person activities
Those who struggle with solitude shy away from activities typically done alone, even if they’re interested in them. Reading a book, going for a solo walk, or visiting a museum by themselves feels uncomfortable or even anxiety-inducing. Instead, they might wait to do these activities with others or avoid them altogether. This is a self-imposed limitation that can significantly narrow their experiences and personal growth opportunities.
7. They fill any silence with noise
Silence can be deafening for this type, so they feel compelled to fill every moment with some form of noise—leaving the TV on for background chatter, playing music constantly, or even talking to themselves. This noise serves as a comfort blanket, creating an illusion of company and drowning out the thoughts and emotions that loneliness might bring to the surface.
8. They always need external stimulation
People who can’t handle being alone often have an insatiable need for external stimulation. They might hop from one activity to another, always seeking the next distraction. Sitting quietly or engaging in reflection feels uncomfortable or even impossible. This behavior is a way of avoiding introspection and the potentially uncomfortable thoughts or emotions that might arise in quieter moments.
9. They have a hard time sleeping
Bedtime can be particularly challenging. They might struggle to fall asleep without the presence of another person or the background noise of a TV. Some may develop sleep anxiety when alone, leading to insomnia or restless nights. This is a manifestation of their discomfort with being alone with their thoughts in the quiet of the night.
10. They rely on their pets for company
While pets can be amazing companions, those who struggle with being alone might develop an excessive dependence on their furry friends. They may anthropomorphize their pets (a phenomenon, according to Psych Central) to an unusual degree, treating them as human substitutes rather than animals. The pet becomes a constant source of interaction and emotional support, allowing the person to avoid confronting their discomfort with being truly alone.
11. They form codependent relationships
They might quickly latch onto new friends or romantic partners, becoming overly reliant on them for emotional support and validation. These relationships are characterized by an intense need for constant contact and reassurance. The codependent person may sacrifice their own needs or identity to maintain the relationship, fearing that independence might lead to abandonment.
12. They have a hard time enjoying meals alone
Eating alone can be particularly challenging for those uncomfortable with solitude. They might avoid dining out by themselves or feel anxious about eating alone in public. At home, they might eat in front of the TV or while scrolling through their phone, unable to simply sit and enjoy a meal in their own company. This discomfort goes beyond social anxiety, it’s a reflection of their struggle to find peace during basic daily activities like eating. It can even lead to serious mental health problems, according to this study from the National Library of Medicine.
13. They struggle to complete tasks without validation
They might frequently seek reassurance or approval from others, even for minor accomplishments. This behavior stems from a lack of self-trust and an inability to find satisfaction in their own judgment. The need for external validation becomes a crutch, preventing them from developing confidence in their own abilities and decision-making skills.
