Blurting out an opinion when someone hasn’t asked you for it can cause problems in your relationships. Even if you feel strongly about the opinion or advice that you want to deliver, it’s still wise to stop and think things through. So, here are 10 things you need to ask yourself before offering anyone (and we mean anyone) your opinion. Ready? Let’s go.
1. Is This Really Necessary?
Seriously, is it a good thing to tell your friend they should dump their boyfriend and stop complaining about him? No, it’s mean. Is it wise to insult people in a social media comment? Oh heck no. Although you might mean well with your advice, or be fed up and not care about how it’s coming across, you shouldn’t resort to shock value or making people feel bad. Rather ask them if they’d like your opinion before jumping in, so you know that your words are being valued and heard.
2. Do You Have The Info?
Before jumping in with your opinion, check that you’ve got the lowdown on what topic’s being discussed. If you don’t know the latest news they’re chatting about, but you saw a video online about something to do with it (read: fake news), it’s probably best to stay quiet and double-check the facts so you don’t embarrass yourself. Do your own research!
3. Are You Too Emotional About It?
You don’t want to express your opinions if you’re so emotional about them that you can’t even see past your own perspective. If you’re not open to other ways of thinking, then it’s best to keep your thoughts quiet. Go work off your emotions by doing something healthy, like going for a run.
4. Is The Timing Okay?
It’s all about timing! Expressing your opinion might seem like no big deal, but it could be risky. Read the room! If everyone’s upset about someone’s recent death and you express your “funny” views about nursing homes, it’s not the right time. Similarly, if a couple has just had an argument and you chime in with how to spot a toxic relationship, it’s a no-go!
5. Have You Listened To What’s Been Said?
When entering a conversation, make sure you know what the people are talking about before you jump in with your views. You might’ve got the wrong info because you’re joining the party so late. It’s really easy for misunderstandings to become a big deal – and you don’t need the drama.
6. Can You Say This Nicely?
If you want to share an opinion with your friend on a touchy subject, you have to be careful before expressing what’s on your mind. You can’t just go in guns blazing, thinking you can be blunt and honest. You have to consider your friend’s feelings on the matter. So, make sure you can share your opinion in a gentle, caring way before sharing it.
7. Is Sharing This Risky?
If you’re sharing an opinion about something that happened to one of your closest friends, be careful not to launch into a gossip session. Stick to the rule: you should only share opinions based on things that have happened to you. This will also make what you say more meaningful.
8. Will This Help Someone?
It’s crucial to think about what your intention is for sharing your opinion (that’s called self-awareness, according to Psychology Today). If it will help someone, then it’s a good thing to do. If it’s going to do the opposite and potentially hurt someone or make them feel bad, then it’s not worth it. It’s also good to note that sharing your opinion should be about genuinely helping others, not about serving your own needs, which brings us to the next point.
9. Do You Want Attention?
Make sure you’re not sharing your opinion to get some attention or validation. Maybe you want to jump in with info about growing cacti or writing a book because you want to be seen as knowledgeable. Or, you want to share your story about dating a toxic person so you’re in the spotlight. Before you know it, you’re going on about your own stuff instead of what the other person was trying to discuss.
10. Will It Lead To A Fight?
You saw on your community WhatsApp group that some annoying guy is being mean. You join the conversation to shut him down. While you might think shutting down someone rude or arrogant is a good thing, it might be drama you don’t need – and it won’t change the person’s ways. So, why go there in the first place? Take a step back and cool down before taking action you might regret. According to Psychology Today, that’s the best way to resolve conflict.
